Please... Understand!

Please understand…
I am your child
But I am not a piece of clay
Don’t try to mould me in to piece of pottery
For I am made out of flesh
And I have a soul...
When you try to mould me
Like a piece of clay
My soul gets crushed

and it gets damaged
Beyond repair

The creator has given me a mind
And a soul of my own...
I have a mission and a vision
To live my very best life
If I didn’t follow your dream
It does not mean
I don’t care for you
Or I don’t respect you

But please understand
I have to live my best life
Honouring my own true self
I have to use the tools
That is given to me
By my creator

I cant be the best me
If I try to follow your plan
So please understand
I have to find my way
I may not follow your path
Or follow your footsteps
But, I will find my own path
And decide to walk on that
But that does not mean
I have no respect
For my life or for yours
That does not mean
I have no dreams of my own
That does not mean
I am here for a free ride

with nothing to contribute...

Please trust me
That I can make my own decisions
That I am thankful for
All you have done
You have taught me
Many things
You have given me my values
You have given me ethics
You have taught me principles
And I am eternally thankful for that…

I still need your love
I still need your guidance
I still need your blessings
I can’t survive without you
I can’t accomplish my dreams
If I don’t have your support
So please don’t turn away
From me
If I don’t follow your dream
If I don’t follow your foot steps
Please give me a chance
And please have patience
Please believe in me
And please trust me
I will make something
Good out of me and my life
Please be with me
While I find my path
For I cant do it
Without you.

Could you try to understand your child a bit more today?

I am here for YOU

This is dedicated to a Very Special FRIEND

I know you are going through a really rough time
But I just want to let you know that I am here for you
As your friend..

Please understand…
This too shall pass my dear
And you will survive and rise above
I know this my friend
You will come out better than before

as a very strong human being....

You have experienced love, happiness, to-getherness and laughter
And you know how wonderful it feels
To be showered with such thoughts and acts...
But now - my friend..

It’s your turn to experience the opposite
Anger, frustration, confusion, and separation
You must also experience these to make your life complete
For it’s through these

You master courage, strength and wisdom
Perseverance,determination and focus
Just think about it my dear friend
When everything is going well in your life
You don’t need much faith..
You don’t need much courage...
You don’t need much wisdom...
Because things just flow like water…..

But when things are not going well, my friend
You need courage...
You need faith...
You need wisdom...
To help you through your journey

My dear Friend….
All though you think you have lost a lot
I am telling you ..
You have not!
With your loss you also have gained
Many new things in your life…

you did not have before

You are put on test
To see how you do in crisis…
To see how you handle problems
To see how you learn to take care of things

To see how you live for your self
To see how much faith you have
To see how much trust you have
In order to accomplish your dreams and goals

You will have to face these
In real life...

You cannot operate with love alone
You cannot operate with happiness alone
If you don’t have experience now my friend
Then how will you survive later….
How can you help another in crisis?
How can you guide another in trouble?
How can you identify a tear in another’s eye?


So my dear friend…
This is a test – and take it with grace my friend…
I believe you will come out with flying colours
For I believe in YOU my friend...

Although, we live miles apart and many time zones apart...
Please know,
I am with you every step of the way
Praying and wishing from all the best...

from the core of my heart

I pray....

for your happiness and success
And peace-of-mind
So never feel that you are alone…

Because I am here for YOU

In these difficult times
Walk forward with grace and confidence
Stay focused and be alert

Dont let anyone cloud your mind

Or step in your toes

Or distroy your peace-of-mind

Or take away the goodness you have

Or your dreams and goals...

Believe in your self and your faith
Never give up – my friend – Never!
Because you only have a few more steps to take to finish
Although you don’t know this…
You are so close to the end this race….

I am here for you MY DEAR FRIEND!

The Closed Door

I used to spend years and years trying to open close doors… yes, years and years – I am not talking about an year or two – close to 25 years - that is way more than a quarter of my life … I was stuck at one stage in my life and ONE door that was closed on me… I felt it slammed on my face… I cried and cried, wept and screamed.. I stood by the closed door – I tapped on it – knocked on it – thumped on it.. I tried to force-open it – it was never opened…I thought one day it would open – just one day – only if I was patient enough, only if I continue to dwell on enough sorrow and pain – only if I punish my self enough and feel sorry for myself it would be opened..but it never did!

By doing this I did not realize my youth was robbed – I missed the rainbows, I missed the sun set and sun rise, I missed the sparkling stars, I missed the summer rain, I missed the joys of life, joys of my youth – I was buried with self-pity - I did not see light. I was facing my back to light – I never saw the sun shine…. I was creating my own shadow by facing my back to the sun – I was standing in my own shadow… I missed out on all the fun… I didn’t think I have the right to have fun – just simple fun – because I was just waiting this door to open… which never did…I thought life will flow after this door was opened for me...

You know? what I did not realize was – every home has a front and a back door… I stood by the front door but people in it had left from the back door. They were long, long gone! but I did not know… my cries were never heard, there was nobody to answer the door – not only had they left, they had also built new homes and castles, oblivious to my sorrows – they had moved on – they probably didn’t realize I was still suffering, I was still weeping – they had moved on… To see, I was standing in front of an empty house for years and years…

During this time, many other doors were open to me – but I didn’t look – I didn’t turn – because I was so obsessed with the one that was closed – eventually the ones that were opened were also closed… I was alone in the corridor with all doors closed… it was a hard lesson but I learnt something good… I know now – not to dwell so much on closed doors… I know through experience now when a door closes on you another opens… this has happen to me many times I believe it now from the core of my heart… I am not saying this because some wise person said this... I am sharing this with you because I have experienced this my self...

Today, I have no anger or hatred for people who didn’t open that door for me – for I truly believe the door that was opened for me was always always better than the one was closed… It has been for me.

Are you trying to open a closed door?

It's Your CHOICE

What ever we do in life we have a choice… with what we do, say, think or behave we always have a choice… we can contribute or contaminate… and that is our own choice..

Regardless of who we are… every single day, with every single action or thought – we have a choice.. Yes, we can contribute or contaminate… with our words, actions, behaviour, gesture or thoughts… we can…

Opportunities are many – yes! Every single day, there are countless opportunities to contaminate or contribute… if we look clearly – we will see them… if we go with the mind to contribute there would be many opportunities within everyday to contribute – contribute to us – our own growth, to others, to the society and to the world…

Same we, if we go with the mind to contaminate there will also be ample opportunities to do so… there are many ways to be self-destructive, to be destructive to others, the society and also the world…

At the beginning each day and at the end of each day and also in between – we are presented with many choices – we can decide to contribute or contaminate… the choice belongs to us… We cant blame our creator for making a wrong choice… we all have been given wisdom – equal wisdom – rich or poor, man or woman, young or old - to make a choice… We can’t say opportunities are not given to us …. may be they are not always offered in a platter. .but they are there – far or near – they are there, which our reach – today, you have a choice to mend someone’s heart or break someone’s heart, you have a choice to bring a smile to someone’s face or bring a tear, you can lift someone’s spirit or you can dampen their spirits, you can have some fun or you can dwell in your sorrows, you can set-up or put-up a fire – it’s your choice! Do you contribute or do you contaminate? Opportunities are many for you to go either way…

Which path would you choose?

Dont tell me You love me

Don’t tell me you love me
Don’t tell me you only live for me
Don’t tell me you are doing everything for me
And turn back on me

And then point fingers at me
And find faults with me
Because you are angry

When things go wrong
And you cannot handle the anger
And the frustration
Don’t tell me “you are just like your Dad!”
Or “you are just like your Mom!”

It does not help me
At all…
It does not take away my pain at all
I may be young but I have feelings
Feelings I just don’t know how to express

I feel scared and lonely

I feel lost and empty

I feel sad....

but I may not tell you

because, I also dont want to make you sad...

I am not too young to know that
I am the creation of you both
I am part of you both
When you insult or ridicule
Dad or Mom
You are also insulting me
A part of me
For I am the creation of
Both of you
Don’t think I am too young to know that
I know ...

I have Mom’s eyes and Dad's pointy nose
I have Mom’s curly hair and Dad’s smile
I have Mom’s kind heart and Dad’s sense-of-humour
for I am the creation of
You both…

I am not a football
Don’t kick me between mom and dad

Dont push to me take sides...

It's not fair you ask me to do it
Don’t make me feel…
Like it’s all my fault
The reason for your split

If you must know...
I already feel bad
For your separation
For I need you both
Mummy and Daddy…
For I love you both
Mummy and Daddy…
I am trying to understand
Why you cant live together anymore
I am trying to understand
Why you cant make things right anymore
Why you cant say sorry
To each other

So..
Don’t tell me you love me
Don’t tell me you only live for me
Don’t tell me you are doing everything for me
And turn back on me

Just dont!

Go ahead... make somebody's day!

The other day, I was feeling miserable.. I was feeling empty, sad and lonely… I just could not pick up my self… I was in real need of some TLC – Tender, Loving, Care… I really struggled at work and I was happy when the day ended…Perhaps it’s the cold weather.. we are under a server cold weather alert here in Toronto for the last couple of days.. and its bitterly cold.. I no longer can go for my stroll at lunch, which I always look forward to… even on a chilly day I still go out with my thick jacket on, but now I cant…since its extremely cold…and I miss that. Maybe, I am been hit by the blues…for I sure felt blue…

As some of you know, I am in the business of counselling…which I love and feel blessed to be in… but that day, I just could not do it… I was just tired of giving, listening and being there for others… I feel guilty when this happens but I also know the truth is I am running empty.. I just don’t have any thing inside of me to give others….my fountain has dried… I have nothing to offer…

Just as I was going to wrap-up my day and call it quits, I opened my e-mail… there it was – a beautiful note from one of my former clients - I consider here a true friend…she is a remarkably positive, uplifting woman… She has always been special to me… she had written a beautiful note… it just gave light to my dark day… I felt good – it was lovely.. it lifted my sprits.. it took my gloom away… I felt appreciated, loved and cared…

Thank you Carmelita… you made my day…in fact, you saved my day… you reminded me why I am doing what I am doing and the importance of continuing to do what I do… you probably never guessed that your note would create such a positive difference but it truly did… it gave me energy… it replenished my empty fountain…
Thank you so much for taking the time to do it….

Lets not hesitate to show people our appreciation… we never know what kind of day they are having.. we all go about doing what we need to do…because we have to… but silently feeling miserable, sad or unappreciated… it only takes a few minutes of our precious time to let someone know they are appreciated or loved or remembered.. It’s just a phone call, an e-mail – that is all you need to do.. these days you don’t even have to spend money to buy a card or flowers or even spend a few cents for postage.. with the click of your mouse you can let people know how much you care for them… So why hesitate.. Today, take initiative to make someone’s day… you never know what a difference you could be making….