Sunday, November 18, 2007

Monkey praising it's own TAIL!

Ha..ha.. I may sound like a monkey who is praising its own tail but I cant help it…Yeyeyeyey…. Happy First Anniversary to Me...hup..hup..hup..I am jumping up and down with my tail wagging!

It’s exactly a year ago I started this blog. Yes, and when I had to write my first post I struggled…. actually wrote the first post on nothing. I have written over 50 blog posts in the past one year. Hey.. hey. What an achievement for this monkey ha? Oh, you know the freedom of this praising my own self? I am over 40! I no longer have to worry about what others think.. and you know what? It’s my blog and I cant say what I want right? And if you are 20.. start early.. its not about what other’s think of you.. Its about what you think of yourself. I learnt this message very late in life.. but I am here to tell you, you don’t have to.

I want to thank you all for you support and your interest you have shown in my blog – if I didn’t think it was helping others I wouldn’t be motivated to write. I must admit I love writing. It’s the one single media where I feel I am me…. I can’t dance or sing or perform…my real thoughts come on to surface when I am writing.. I feel free when I write.

I wish my mother had an opportunity to read this. She never had. She left me a few years ago. If she did she would have being very proud if not of me but her too. It was my mother who taught me to read and write – so she deserves all the credit. As some of you know English is my second language. At age 3 I started reading books in English. I had always preferred writing and reading to talking. I was the quiet one in my family. Everybody else talked a lot – they still do. So whether I liked it or not I listened – let’s say sometimes there wasn’t a choice. I thought somebody must listen. Later it became too much, now I just pretend like listening. Ha. ha.. very bad monkey ha?

Well, if you have a passion I encourage you to take it up. I don’t write perfect – and I know this too. I am sure I make many mistakes. But I am able to make my point across and live through my passion. I hope you too will take a simple step in following your passion. You owe it to your self. What is life if we cant live out our passions? Ah, it would be so dull.

So, today do something about your passion.. think at least this way.. Niroma is writing whether she thinks she can write or not… so, why not I do something with my passion?
Now would that be enough motivation?

Friday, November 02, 2007

Prisoner of Life..


Do not be a prisoner of your own life
Dear Sister…
Take courage, be strong
Have faith in yourself and Lord…
Believe in yourself
Walk.. walk.. my dear sister…
Walk towards light

Its okay my sister…
What ever happened in the past
Its over..
For today is another new day..
For new hopes and new dreams..
To begin your life new…

Take a chance dear sister
Its worth a try..
Walk away from darkness..
And walk in to light..

People may have done wrong by you dear sister
Or said wrong things to your hurt your feelings
Insulted you and made you feel so small
They may have robbed your worth
But don’t let them rob your soul and spirit
I know you are scared..
I know you feel weak..
I know you feel hurt..
But my sister..
Have courage to walk away
Break the steal doors of your prison
Walk away.. sister.. walk away…

I know, you can’t see the light
At the end of the tunnel..
Because you are not looking ahead
You are stuck in a prison
A dungeon you have made
For yourself…

Don’t sit in darkness
Don’t sit in sorrow
Take courage, take strength
Believe in yourself
Your strong inner self
And faith in yourself and the lord
Do your best
And the universe will do the rest…
Are you a prisoner of your own life?

Seperate Paths..



I waited for you for so long..
So long for you to understand me..
To understand my heart and my soul
To tell you
What is burning inside of me..
To know what I want
My dreams and goals…
To know my heart..
To know what spark me
To know what gives me pleasure
I had opened my heart
For years and years
And had invited you to step in..
But you didn’t take notice
Perhaps you were busy
Perhaps you were pre-occupied
Perhaps you didn’t want to
Perhaps you didn’t believe enough in me
Perhaps you didn’t want to join hands with me
I don’t know the reason
Because you never told me

I also tried to know you
Your heart
Your goals and dreams
You aspirations and fantasies
And what matters most to you
But you didn’t let me in
Into your heart or mind
I had thought we were in this together..
Walking hand-in-hand
Facing the road-blocks together..
And then exploring new tracks
Stopping by to enjoy the scenery
Or making a D-tour
Just because it would be fun…
But it didn’t happen…

I stood there, out in the cold
Like a total stranger
Waiting impatiently
To enter your world
But you didn’t allow me
To enter your heart
I also kept the gates of my heart
Open for you
Day-in.. Day-out
I had hoped
You would knock on my door
But it didn’t happen…

I was disappointed
Because you didn’t come
You never gave me a reason
Even if I asked you
Even if I begged you
Sometimes, I cried
Sometimes, I wept
Sometimes, I fought with you
But yet you were silent
Silent as a rock
A rock in a dark cold winter night
I could never understand
The silence.. and I still don’t…

I am sorry,
I can’t wait for you anymore
My heart tells me to move on
That I have waited too long
Life is short
Shorter than we predict
We never know when it ends
When it ends
I don’t want to have any regrets
I want to know
I tried and did my best..
So, I think its time
For me
To step in to the world on my own
To see what I can do
To test the waters
And to swim to my destination
To make my dreams come true
At least to give it a try
I have to do..
This on my own..

We were running
Yes..
But not in the same direction
In separate ways
We were walking
Yes,
But not in hand-in-hand
Alone in our paths…
Parallel and separate
I am not sure
Whether we will cross our paths any more..
For we have walked apart
For many years
Without us even knowing..

I can’t lie anymore
Or pretend
Or act
I also can’t wait anymore
I am tired of waiting
For I don’t think
We can walk back now
For we have walked apart for long..
Perhaps, we were never meant to be
Walking in the same path
It’s was my expectation
But perhaps it’s not goods will…
I wish you success
Walking on your path..
I hope you will be happy
Now, I want to give myself a chance
To walk in my path
For I will not be ME
until I walk on my path..
I cant walk on your path
if its not my path
and you cant walk on mine
if its not yours

I now want to walk on my path
and find my own happiness
For I believe I am worthy
As a human being
To find and walk on my own path
And walk to my own destination…
At least,
When that day comes
I want to tell my creator I tried.. I tried.. and I tried…
Are you on your own path?

Life Goes On....


Even when
things are going wrong in very possible way
But yet,
Life goes on
With the dawn of another new day
Birds singing merrily
Sun shining bright
Life goes on…

Things are going wrong in very possible way
Unpaid bills
Jobs lost
Contracts broken
Marraiges destroyed
Lives lost
Sicknesses arising
Children crying
Loved ones not talking
friendships lost
Dirty dishes in the sink
Laundry not folded
Problems not solved
Hurtful memories
Broken hearts
Confused minds
Tears still not wiped
But life goes on…
Everything is a mess
Life is a disaster
Can’t handle it anymore
Too much on our plate
No more strength to face
Another new day
Don’t know what to do
Wish the world would stop
With us..
And wait for us…
And say its okay.. take your time..
Wish it would give us time..
To heal a broken heart
Or
To find a solution
Or to gather enough strength
But it wont stop..
Here comes another day


The world doesn’t stop revolving even for a second
The sun does not stop from appearing
The night becomes day
Flowers bloom
Birds sing
Life goes on…
No matter what…
Life goes on…
Life goes on..
Life goes on…

And
No matter what
We are suppose to go with it…
No matter what, life goes on.. do you realize this?

Teach your Little Girls


Teach your little girls
How to live for themselves
Teach your little girls
To take care of themselves
And to make them the top priority
Of their lives
Teach your little girls
They are equal to little boys
And they too can achieve things
Teach them they can be
Anything they want to be
If they set their heart and minds..
Teach your little girls
To be strong
Powerful and assertive
To stand up for themselves
And speak their minds
And voice their opinions
And fight for their due rights
Teach your little girls
That they are good enough
Just as they are

Teach your little girls
That they no longer
Have to be the shadow of a
Strong man
But they them selves
Can shine and create their
Own shadow
Teach your little girls
To rise up and reach up
To walk straight with their backbones strong
To keep their chin up and face situations
To fight back fear and anxiety
And never to give up
When things go wrong
Teach your little girls
To Believe in their selves
And their souls
And have faith
In their little hearts..
Would you teach your little girls.. please..

As much as we like to...

As much as we like to help our loved ones
Be it our spouse, parents, children, siblings or friends
We can’t truly help them
Not until they open their hearts and minds to receive help

Sometimes, we may spend years and years trying to help another
Because we see a better path for them than the one they are walking on
So we push and pull and nag…
We use all the tools and techniques we have learnt
Love talk, guilty talk, sad talk, angry talk..
Until we feel like we have used it up all
All the talk we can talk
Nothing seems to work
Its only then we give up
When our selves are worn out, and running empty
Realizing that we have wasted a good many years
Trying to change someone –thinking it’s what they want
All with good intentions though
But not checking with them
If they really want to change
Little do we realize
It’s not what they want
Its what we want
If its what they want
They would change
Because if needed its in their power to change
But it’s not in our power to change others…
So we must understand this clearly,
We can’t change anyone if they don’t want to change
We can’t help anyone if they don’t want to be helped
We cant save anyone if they don’t want to be saved
As much as we try to avoid them falling into the dark pit below
Some people learn their lessons, only after falling in the pit
As much as we want to avoid them from a head-on-collision
Some people learn only from this
We all learn our lessons differently
And as much as it’s hard to watch
We must allow others to learn their lessons
In their own way…
Some of us will cross the road when we see trouble coming
But yet, for some
They will walk on to them.
Which is right, which wrong – I don’t know
But I have noticed
This is how they learn every single time..
Be it our spouse, child, friend or sibling
As much as we love these people
As much as we want them to live trouble free
Who are we?
To stop them from learning and growing
If this is their chosen method or learning

Is it time to let go?

Are We Sleepwalking?


Have we been sleepwalking through our lives?
Have we become deaf and blind to our lives?
Are we on mute?
Is it just me?
Or are you feeling this too?

Don’t we care anymore?
Don’t we care about this world and us?
Do we not believe in good anymore?
Does it not matter anymore?

I miss pure art.. I see porn.. I am tired of the crap I see on most channels
I miss pure music – where music used to sound like a harmonious combination of instruments.. instruments you could recognize.. the piano, the guitar, the drums, the flute, the violin…
I miss pure love.. it’s just lust now mixed with greed..
I am tired of seeing skinny women walking down the catwalk almost clad with nothing on their so thin bodies.. they must be unhappy for they don’t smile.. how can they?
What ever happened to curvy, voluptuous women in decent clothing?
I am tired of women still selling their bodies.. showing off their body parts just like its nothing..
I feel sorry for our mothers and grand mothers.. they worked so hard to fight for women’s rights..
Some even gave their lives..

I feel sad, in the name of fame and popularity people have lowered standards..
People are poisoning pure art, music and fashion…
Through a media that can create love, harmony and peace
They have created venom that destroys young minds..
Young minds we need for a better tomorrow – a strong tomorrow
Is being captured like prisoners
Selling almost porno as art, scary sounds as music, crap as fashion

Is it our fault?
Did we stop caring?
Or have we changed?
Or are we helpless?
Perhaps we have been sleeping?
Or are we sleepwalking?

Are we sleepwalking?

Is it time?

I realized in every situation
There is only so much I can do
No matter how much I try
There is only so much I can do
And the most powerful realization
Is knowing what my limit is..
Realizing that the power I have is limited
Realizing I cannot do everything
As much as I want to
And most importantly
Knowing I have done the best..

Sometimes in life
I have pulled, pulled and pulled..
To solve problems.. of my own and others..
After a certain point nothing seems to work..
And if I continue more
I would be killing my soul and myself
I trust it’s important to know my limit and my capacity
And to know that I have done the best I could
And to
To surrender myself to my creator above

This does not mean giving up
Quitting ahead..
Not trying enough
But just knowing you and your limits
What’s achievable and what’s not
What is working and what is not…
When to stop and say,
Lord I have tried by best
and just let the rope slip....
For your own good

Is it time for you?