"U" in YOu

Can you believe its December 31, 2006…. The last day of 2006….This time around the year, I always get so excited.. Its because this is the time to reflect on the past year, and to review my goals for the New Year. A brand new start… if things have not gone o.k. for some of us… then there is hope we will be able to make things right – at least there is hope…HOPE is a great thing!

I hope this year you will make some “ME TIME” for yourselves. JUST FOR YOU… to honour that great person… the “U” in you – perhaps, this coming new year we can try to put the “U” in you first… hard… Traditionally, it's always the last… right? – but let’s give it a try!

I believe through my own experiences the most supportive, loving, encouraging person lives within us. That is our own inner self – that is the “U” in YOU! Some may call it the “true self”, “higher power”, “godly self” or the “authentic self”… I hope you have made connection with your inner-self. We all have that within us… that is not just unique to me. It’s within you too. But it’s your responsibility to find it. I also believe its our primary purpose in life to find it and honour it with the best of our ability. If you have not done it already, just give it a try.

How do you find it… by being quiet and listening to your self… it will become closer to you by doing things that you love to do.. simple things.. by truly relaxing your mind and body… you may need lots of patience… lots of it… and practice… Lets try to put aside some time to work on own dreams and goals – they can be big or small – Its good to connect with our inner-selves, listen to our inner-voices and try to honour our true selves.

When you find your true self you will not feel lonely… even if you are alone you will not feel lonely.. That is the true benefit. Even if the whole world is against you, your true self will be there for you – by your side – loving you, supporting you and encouraging you towards achieving your own goals in life.

We tend to constantly seek external support to achieve our goals – and sometimes, these external support can fail us for what ever reasons…I am sure you have experienced this too… sometimes, they cant be reliable or dependable… I am not saying we dont need external support - we certainly do...But we also need to seek internal support from our own inner-selves…Remember, we are built with a internal support system… The Good Lord has given this to us already.. but finding the “switch” is our Job. All we have to do is find that “switch” and put it “on” so there will be “light” in your life. Why live in darkness? Don’t you think we owe this to ourselves?

Nobody else can be more passionate than our own selves about our own goals… Nobody else has the drive and the determination of pursuing our own goals than our own selves… Lets try to find our inner-selves, it’s within us… its there… in us.. You and me and all… finding it is our task… when we do, its worth it… then will no longer depend on outside support for achieving your goals…If outside support is there its good. If not, it’s good too. You will not feel crippled without it because you now have the ‘U” in you…. You will feel stronger and confident, courageous and supportive, determined and perseverant – because now you are not alone… You have “U” and you have light. You will turn inside because you have a best friend within you that will never leave you.


Are you in touch with the “U” in you?

Christmas Dinner

Hi there, hope you all had a great Christmas…

I sure had a good one myself! As some of you already knew, I had given my husband a gift – an all inclusive, paid holiday to be with his mother and family away from Canada. So, that meant I was home alone.. Yeah… sounds scary… ha..ha.. I felt like the “kid” in the movie “Home Alone”…. Sure… at times, felt like wrecking the home too…

One thing for sure, I wasn’t going to spend my Christmas miserable… although we don’t celebrate Christmas, I love the Christmas cheer… it is time to sit back, relax and enjoy. Well, it’s also the only holiday we get here in Canada other than Thanksgiving.. so we might as well enjoy and have great time…

I thought of having a little party… yeah.. I was in the mood to Partay! Partay!! Well, I did not have a lot of stuff at home – I peeped in to the fridge – it wasn’t full – opened the pantry cupboards … not a lot left there too -since I hadn’t done groceries and I am kind of crippled because I cant drive… because I depend on my husband for this.. (O.K. More on this later – lets keep on track right?) But I was determined to have some fun.. so I invited my friend Sumi and her family over for dinner on Christmas Day. They too don’t celebrate Christmas and also like me have no other family. And besides the poor woman had to work on Christmas Day. So I thought it would be a great way for her to unwind, relax and chill.

Boy! That was interesting and challenging…I didn’t have enough of anything to follow a traditional recipe…so I had to be really creative… I added a bit of this and bit of that and was able to make a full meal – of course, at this point I was making meals I had never made before…. May I admit? I had to really pray to the Lord because at one point I was scared whether I would be able to make it. Believe me, I was able to make a really nice complete meal with what I was left with…. I even managed to whip up a really nice dessert – thanks to my husband… I hope he won’t miss it…ooops… yeah.. Emptied his bottle of brandy – threw in some fresh apples and pears, butter, brown sugar, resin-nut bran cereal, vanilla and baked it for half-an-hour… Ah.. It tasted so… good… served it piping hot over crushed chocolate creamsicles… because I did not even have ice cream at home…. But it tasted so…. yummy… that I think was the perfect ending to a no-name menu!

The evening turned out to be wonderful.. We emptied a bottle of wine, relaxed, laughed and talked a lot…my friends were happy with the meal and I received a lot of compliments too. I was happy not because of the complements because I too had a great evening… I am glad I decided to do that because if not I would have just sat in misery thinking of the great Christmases other people were having… And I was happy to share what ever I had… food, home and time with others …isn’t this what Christmas is about?

o.k… you guessed it right!.. there is a point to my sharing this.. this is not about the No-Name dishes I made….sometimes, in life too.. we may not have a full stock in hand… we may lack this or that… but yet we still have to face life… do our best and make something out of what we are left with… Only a very few of us may ever feel like we have a full stock…but many of us don’t… So, lets take a risk here….And if we think creatively, I believe, we certainly can pull-off something pretty good.. something pretty unique too…. Who says we have to serve what everybody else serves.. Lets remember in life – you are the Chef… its up to you to how you whip things up… When in doubt always garnish with lots of love, compassion and kindness – sprinkle it with good humour… it never goes wrong… Be genuine – it will always taste good…

Out to PLAY

In each and every one of us….
Buried, deep down is a child
A child who likes to play
Have fun and be silly….
No matter how old we are
Thirty, forty, fifty or beyond
There is a child
Who wants to be loved, appreciated and touched
A child that never grows old
Right here, in side each of us…

It’s not a crime to let your child out
We needn’t be ashamed
To revive the child in each of us
In fact, I think it’s a shame
When we don’t do that…

Sure, as we tell ourselves…
We are adults!
We tend to neglect our inner child
We bury it with mundane tasks and endless responsibilities
Rules and regulations
And tiresome obligations
We cage our inner child
And ask it to keep quiet
“Hush!”
But why?

Every now and then
Lets take our inner child out to play
To have fun, to laugh and to make merry
Let it out and set it free ….
And see how much fun it brings to your grown self
It yearns for simple things
Just like a kid
It sees the joy and happiness
In simple things…
In dew drops and seashells
In butterflies and rainbows
In ice cream and chocolate and candy
It likes laughter and cheer
Love and affection
Humour and giggles…
Nothing fancy, nothing expensive
Nothing beyond reach
So today, let your inner child out
And let it have some fun….

Sounds silly? Try it .... you might have some fun...

Reach Out!

Last morning as I was walking out to the bus stop, I slipped on a patch of black ice and fell. Yes, I went on all fours and it was a very hard fall. I did go down with a “thud” as I am no featherweight. I fell flat on my stomach and for a moment or two did not really know what had happened. There was a woman who walked by me – as I was lying on the road trying really hard to pick up my self – I saw her stilettos passing me by. In my mind I was screaming “help, help” but the words did not come out. I thought the stilettos would reach me. But it didn’t. Perhaps she didn’t hear, perhaps she was preoccupied with something else. Boy! I would have really appreciated someone’s helping hand – that would have meant a lot to me.

As I was picking myself up with great difficulty – thanks to my own hands – that is a lot of weight to lift – I was thinking to my self…. This happens often in real life… doesn’t it? Often, we just have to pick ourselves - by ourselves with no external support. Whether it is a physical fall like mine or some other falling in life – when we are down – it is scary and lonely out there. And we become helpless. I experienced this myself yesterday. As I was down there, I looked up – the sky seemed much higher than usual, the trees and buildings too, even the stilettos looked unreachable. I guess, it’s a different picture you see when you are down there. And if someone remains there for a long time then it becomes impossible to pick-up one self. I can understand, why some people give up. Some times, it’s hard to get-up in life without a helping hand. Last week, closer to home – a young woman took her life. She also took her young son along with her. She jumped off an overhead bridge to the busy highway. She pushed her son before she took her life. Sad but it’s true.

If we can, lets remember to reach out and give some one a hand to get-up in life. We all need to help each other. I don’t think we are meant to do this alone. We can’t. Lets be conscious and sensitive towards people around us. If we took a moment to help another would our lives crash? I don’t think so…

On a lighter note, the previous night I was complaining to my husband that my stomach is growing bigger by the day. No! I am not pregnant. It is just lack of exercise. But last morning – it acted as my airbag. The extra padding really prevented any bones from cracking. I am still in severe pain but things could have been worse. Hmmm… you never know what might come in handy. I have a new sense of appreciation for my tummy now!

Happily Ever After....When?

I find it strange that many of us live our lives preparing to live…yes, preparing to be happy, successful and contend someday. As if there is going to be a time where we can say, “ and we lived happily ever after”. I am sure many of us are familiar with the endings of such fairytales – no one ever knows what happens after they start to live happily ever after. I know of some people who have taken this route – I also knew a few people who never saw the end. They parted while they were preparing to live happily ever after. They were always tired and exhausted preparing for life – they didn’t have time to nurture relationships, connect with others or even get connected with their own selves. They departed not knowing who they are or why they were here. Many of them had excelled professionally, had climbed the ladder to the top, managed to hold some of the highest designations, owned mansions and lots of wealth, even had spouses and children but never had time to know them. To talk to them or listen to them or engage in any activities with them… Not because they didn’t care but they were busy preparing to live life one day.

We take life for granted and believe one day there is going to be a time when everything is hunky-dory. Well, I don’t know whether you have, but I have not reached this stage and nor do I believe, I will during my lifetime. The happiness of our lives is in the moments. There is always something or the other we have to deal with at any given time. Some crisis, some catastrophe, some trauma, some distressing issue. But if we look closely, happiness and success is also there – intertwined with all these…there is triumph, there is joy, there is satisfaction, there is laughter, there is love… It is there in the moments. Not in blocks of decades but in moments. Just like the precious gems, its there mixed in with the dirt and grime.

Some of us strive hard to gather all material things. Neglecting relationships – whether is spousal or parent-child or any other. We are busy gathering stuff to be happy one day. We have no time to talk or listen to others, we have no time to sit-together and enjoy a meal, we have no time to go for a relaxing walk, listen to some joyful music, attend a fun event…we have no time to hold hands, we have no time for a warm hug.. we don’t even have time to breath…. nothing. Because we are busy preparing to be happy one day. The sad part is some of us don’t even know what makes us happy –we have no time to know because we are too busy preparing to be happy someday.

I believe life is meant to be lived and not saved. Life is meant to be fully consumed before we depart. Yet some of us live like “Scrooge”, just being stingy – saving life for someday… not living our best lives now – saving every little goodness we have as if we will get a chance to pack them all and take them with us. Do you know of anyone who has done that? I don’t …

The TOOL Box

The more I think about it, the more I feel that we are here on earth for a purpose. I also believe that our primary purpose of our existence is to find out what our purpose is, during our lifetime. I don’t think our life is just about the “bling” – it’s more than that.

I believe we need to continue to strive to be the best ME in us… does that make sense? Not to compete with others but to compete with our own selves to be the best we each can be…if we need to do this – then we need to look within… I know its scary… its always nice to look outside isn’t it? Because many of us don’t want to deal with what is going on inside of us…

You would not know what you really want to be, if you did not know what you want. I think our creator created us with all the tools we needed. We are all given a little bit of this and that…. sure, some have a less of this and more of that, and some have more of this and less of that…. Have I confused you yet? Hope not! I think we are created as equal human beings with equal human value, but with unique qualities of our own. So the purpose of our life is to figure out how to use the tools to become the best you. This is why I think it is important to look within us to identify the tools we have. I also think the creator purposely forgot to include the instructions manual of how to use the tools, so we have a life long job of figuring out how to put all the tools together and make something out of it…. Ha…don’t you think this is fascinating?

So today, lets take a good look at our toolboxes… lets find out what we have… some of us have collected so much junk from past - and have dumped them in our boxes - so we may not find any tools at the top. We may have to throw that junk out first. Oh, now that is another story isn’t it? O.k. consider this as spring cleaning…well, not here in Canada, we are close to Christmas but it is in some other part of the world… oh, I know.. It is in Australia… I know, sometimes we may want to hold on to the junk even if we really don’t want to – because it’s just hard to let go – so many memories attached to those…although its misery sometimes it too is comforting…

Tough… but if we don’t do that we cant find our tools. Just a warning… The weight of junk may have damaged or temporarily destroyed some of the tools we were given. So don’t be surprised if they are not in good condition. You may have to dig deeper… You may also have to dust them off and give it a complete clean up – some could be even rusty….Wash it with TLC – oh wait, its not CLR – that is too harsh.. I mean TLC – Tender, Loving, Care…

See what you can do with your tools…if you haven’t done this before it may be a bit difficult – so be patient… try to see whether you can put things together and make it work. Concentrate on your job. Stop looking at other peoples boxes…Stop comparing your tools with others…Don’t cheat or try to follow other peoples instructions… it would not work with the tools you have been given…it may require you to be creative, and sometimes even take risks, if it doesn’t work try and try again until you become successful… figuring out how to put them together is your life long job… Remember, the instructions are not given for a purpose; I think to make sure that we have something to do with our lives….

For a long time I was looking at other peoples’ boxes… I thought they had better tools than mine… I wanted what they had – without even looking at what I had… I just automatically assumed that what others had was better than mine. Meanwhile mine got rusty and dusty, and was buried with all the junk I had dumped in by box. One time, I felt like the city’s dumpster… but not any more…I know what’s in my tool box…I am still exploring… but, I am happy with what I have found so far..… The creator even had added some nice goodies for me… but they are really deep down… have to dig deeper…now I am very protective of my toolbox… I don’t let people dump junk in it… I guard it like a treasure box….hmmmm, when I think about it… it is my TREASURE BOX… What's in yours?

I am ME

I am my only wealth and asset
I am my life – my only life
I may be different from you but
I am ME….

I am sorry,
I can’t be like you…
Please don’t hate me for that
If I don’t like what you like…
Or not think, say or do things the way you do
I may have different values, hopes and dreams
Insights and ideas, beliefs and traditions…
I may dance to a different tune
Because that is what I hear in my mind...
I may walk at a different pace
Because that is my comfort level...
I may be headed in a different direction
Because that is my destiny – meant for me...
I may be related to you
Be your husband or wife
Sister or brother
Friend or co-worker
But please don’t forget
I am ME
And not you
Do not compare me to you
Because,
I am ME and not you….

I am my only wealth and asset
I am my life – my only life
This is the only time...
I can play me – in my life
This is the only time...
I can take the lead role
This is the only time...
I can shine
This is the only time...
I can be a star
By simply being me
Because I am the expert of me
This is the only time
I can put my self on the pedestal
And not feel selfish about it…
because its me and my pedestal

Not yours or anyone elses...

but my own...


So… please let me be - the best me…
While you be the best you…
We can still be friends or family
If you realize and accept
I am ME
And you are YOU
We can both shine
In our own unique ways…..
Without letting each other down
Or putting each other down



Are you, YOU?