He is the ONE

God is the only person who can satisfy me – no one else
God is the only person who can protect me - no one else
God is the only person who can save me – no one else
God is the only person who can love me for who I am – no one else
God is the only person who can guide me – on one else

God is the only person who will always be there
God is the only person who will be that constant friend for me
God is the only person who will understand me
God is the only person who truly cares for me
God is the only person who can

encourage me, motivate me, and give me strength at all times

God is the only person who will know me
For its him, who created me
He knows me from day one, and also before I came here
He knows where I have been; he also knows where I am going next
He knows every inch of my body, mind and soul
For its him, who created me

I am no secret to him
I am no mystery to him
I am no surprise to him
I am no accident to him
For I am here, only because he wanted me to

and I will stay as long as he wants me to

He will take me in, when I am no longer needed on this earth

I am his Child,
He is my Creator
He is my Guide
He is my eternal Friend
He is my life Partner
He is my Teacher
He is my Savior
He is ALL in ONE
He is ALL I need
And he is the ONE

God is the only person I truly need to have
I have God and I always knew this
Then why am I wasting everyday looking for substitutes?
Why am I wasting my time and energy?
Who am I looking for?
Who am I waiting for?
What am I looking for?
What am I waiting for?

God is with me, right here, right now
He is with me, within me and around me
Just like always
Why do I forget this truth every now and then?
And waste my time?
Get out of track?
Get all confused?
Get all upset?

I want to remember this every single day
Every single day when I wake up in the morning
And just before I go to bed
And also in between
I want to remember this, regardless what kind of day I have
He is the ONE for me

and HE is with me

Have you found the ONE for YOU?

Giving a Hand

Have you ever tried to help someone out of the goodness of your heart and found later that you have fallen in the pit with him or her? Have you tried to give a person a hand whom you think is in a pit and found out that actually the very same person had pulled you inside the pit? And now you are struggling to come out yourself? Help!.. Help!!.. there isn’t anyone to help you. Now it becomes your job to come out.

I have experienced this a few times, where I have tried to help some one come of the tunnel but the very same had pulled me inside.

I am learning to use caution with people I am trying to help. First of all, if a person does not want be helped you really cant help them. Some people become very comfortable living in side the pit or the tunnel. It becomes their comfort zone. And they don’t make any attempts to come out simply because they love it there. You may not see it, but they are there, because most of them want to. They have no intensions of moving out even if there is plenty of help.

If you are in the helping field like I am, we must exercise caution. It’s a noble thing to help others and as humans we must. However, we must also understand the powers we have and we don’t have. A person must open his or her heart to be helped, if they don’t, unfortunately no matter how much we love them or care for them, we cant do much. We surely can pray, and ask God to make an intervention but we can not help them if they don’t want to be helped. Sure! This is not easy, because we want our loved ones to be safe and happy but we must also understand that just because we love or care for a person we cant make the wrong right. We must also be cautious not to fall in the pit. As I mentioned earlier, I have experienced this a few times in my life, where I have tried to pull someone out of the pit and instead, they have pulled me inside. And then, it’s hard for me to come back up, the person inside with me has no interest in coming up, in fact, the person has gotten so comfortable inside that he/she has made a home there, and they are actually happy there, singing their own blue songs, and throwing pity parties, and they are not even missing the sunshine.

This can happen to the best of us. So lets be careful. Of course, we must help others around us, give a person a hand and try to get them back on track, we are trying to do this while we are also struggling to stay on track. But for some reason if the person does not want to come out, then we must pray for them and move on. Make genuine efforts, but know your limits and boundaries. Know what you can and cannot do for a person. Let them know if they need help you are there to help. Getting ourselves burnt is not right. We are individually responsible for our own lives. Staying on track and coming out of the tunnel is our responsibility too. At the end of the day, we are responsible and accountable for us.

In your attempt to help another, do you notice yourself falling in the pit? Please dont.. use caution.

Are you ready for Spring?

Ahhhhh… I feel it.. I feel it..
It’s coming.. Its’s coming.. . Spring is coming…

Spring is my most favorite season.. to me, Spring means there is hope, that things will start to grow back and bloom again.. Its not just weather wise but I think it applies to life too.. to our lives.. to yours and mine… its an opportunity to start again, once again, sometimes, just from scratch.. to perhaps make some wrongs right, to shake off the past, let things go, to step forward with a spring.. Spring… Spring of Life!

Its time to start life again, for some of us, and here is the opportunity.. so lets take it.. Once again God has given us a new season, and perhaps you have a new reason for this new season. May be this is the time. We all have an amazing life, when we are alive we can do wonderful things.. So lets welcome Spring with open arms, and open hearts.. Time to step out once again with joy and hope, here’s another chance.. lets grab it and make it our BEST!

Are you ready? Spring is coming..

What's in your Goody Bag?

I missed writing. I realize how much I have missed it. I have always loved to write, I guess its because it is my favourite method of communication. I still prefer a letter over a phone call or an e-mail or a text mesg. Perhaps I am from the old school. Geez, this shows my age!

When I am writing, I feel I am closer to my true self. Its not that I am a great writer, and personally I don’t care if I am or not, but it makes me happy. Through writing I am able to express my true feelings. If you notice I can write about nothing. I guess this is what I am doing now too.

We each have a few God given gifts and talents in our Goody Bags. And its up to each of us to take a look at our own Goody Bags and utilize what we are given. For some it could be dancing, singing, performing, composing, painting, etc., But we each have something of our own, that makes us true to ourselves and unique. These gifts, one can fine tune it for sure; and some do, and become world class with what they got. But even if you don’t go to that extend you can still make use of it. And when you do, you feel good, even if you know that you are not world class, still there is a greater sense of satisfaction.

So take a look at your Goody Bag today, see what’s inside and pull out a few and try. We tend to look at what others have in their Goody Bags and wish we had what they have. But the creator has been good and kind and fair to all. Because he has put at least one or two in each of our bags. No one is left without!

If you have children, help them to look at their own Goody Bags, before you pick something of your own for them. Help them to do something that they truly love. Help them fine tune something from their own Goody Bag.

When I was a child, as early as 3 or 4, I had the talent to draw, no one really showed me how to draw, it’s a skill the Creator had carved in me. My ability to use colour at a young age was marvelous. I was extremely good at it. However, my father was not very pleased with my passion for the Arts. He wanted me to excel in sports just like my two sisters and brother and also himself. Even at a young age I realized I really didn’t have that in my Goody Bag. But then, when we are young, we don’t have a voice. I had different skills, that I naturally picked up like art, music, writing, etc. But unfortunately my father didn’t know this and perhaps he didn’t know how to explore it too. That was sad. I felt my God given Wings were cut off. I felt like a bird with wings cut. I knew I could fly, but I could not because my wings were cut off. So if you are a parent today, pay attention. Don’t cut their wings, but help them to strengthen them. You will be amazed with what they will do.

Look inside your Goody Bag today.. see what is inside.. you will be amazed!

Hello Again...

Hello it's me, croaking...also trying to come out of this damn well..

Its been a long while since I last wrote. I am so sorry for my absence. And thank you so much for some of your mails, asking me to write again. It sure feels good to be missed, but I wasnt in a state to write, perhaps because I was absent from my own life - just drifting like a stick in mud, or better yet, fallen in the well.. Knock! Knock!.. where is Niroma? down in the bottom of the well...

I noticed, I hadnt written anything for 2010, well, it has been a one-hell-of-a-year for me, but I am glad I survived it. Many ups and downs (more downs than up!)but I survived it. See folks, I have been busy studying at University of Life. I must say I had some pretty hard lessons to learn. Some I failed but the good old universe presented it to me again and again until I got it.. dah! felt like a dummy at times though.. With all those hard lessons learnt, I feel I am now back again, out of the well of darkness for some sunshine. Once again, its that time.. spring time.. so looking forward to spring again.. the spring of my life..

ahhhhh.. let me suck it in... sunshine.. life.. air.. blue sky.. white coulds.. sure feels good.. Thank you God.. for all your help.. who would I be without you.. a frog in the well!

Where have you been Friends? somewhere? anywhere? nowhere? dont have a clue? Its okay.. glad to be back.. Are you!

Searching for Happiness

Are you searching for Happiness?

When I was younger I thought I would achieve happiness through the material things I would possess, and also things like social status, etc. But now I realize it really does not.

I wish somebody had told me, for I would have lived my life differently. Well, I guess, it was all part of my journey.

I find happiness lies in tiny little moments.. they come and go.. and doesn’t really last for a long time.. Can’t find it in one particular location, thing or person. It’s all over.. and happiness could mean different things to different people.. so before you pursue it you need to know what exactly you are searching for..

Happiness to me is the feeling I experience when I walk bare feet in cool, blue-green grass, is also the colours of the sky at sunset or sunrise, watching the rain, listening to the birds chirp, the shy smile of baby, or tickling its sweet tender feet, spending quality time with friends, window shopping, listening to the sounds of beautiful music, savoring an ice cream cone on a hot summer afternoon, cheering my friends playing cricket at a park, sharing home cooked food with loved ones, attending to my plants in the garden, napping on a Sunday afternoon, having a personal relationship with god, dancing to peppy beat, being among friends, chatting with someone dear on net.. these are some things that bring me happiness.. they come in little bubbles, they don’t last long.. but still they are there.. they are in every day life.. they are inexpensive, and they are around you.. you just have to pay attention..

When I was younger I thought happiness was in the car I drove, the house I owned, the position I held, how much money I had in my bank.. so I pursued many many years trying to achieve these, by doing this, I failed to feel the happiness that was already present around me, I was busy getting ready to be “happy”, I thought one day, with all my hard work that I would reach the state of happiness.. and I could say to all.. “yeah! Now I am happy.. yippyyyyyyy!” well, it never happy.. how very wrong I was.

I hope you are not doing what I did.. for I wasted a whole lot of years.. and time is running out so fast, you cant take it back.. I find many people sacrificing their health and the relationships they should really value, in search for happiness. Sometimes, it could be too late, when you realize this..

What does happiness mean to you? find it and go for it.. Life is way too short..

Why?

Why is it so hard for many of us women to take care of our own selves? Even when we know we are falling apart and about to crack, we still don’t give ourselves the permission. Traditionally as women, we are the ones whom others expect to take care of others. But who really takes care of us? Who really asks us how we are doing? What we need? If we are okay?

Times have changed, many of us are ourselves the breadwinners of our families, and many of us juggle a career and a family. We are also human and we have needs, goals, desires and likes just like our children and spouses or partners. Even if the whole world forgets that we must not.

Just like for everybody human on earth, our creator also had a plan for us. And it’s not just being a mother, wife, sister, or daughter. We to can teach, lead, create, fight, dance and sing. We too come with a bag full of goodies, with god given talent. God didn’t forget us. God never told that we don’t value or we are unworthy.

Girls, mothers, daughters, wives, sisters – here’s to all.. if you have a dream go for it. First give yourself permission to take care of yourself – you are here, because god wants you to be here, and you have a place on this earth. You are needed, wanted and loved. You are not just a background prop, you are spotlight. So claim your right and grab your light.. go for it.. There may be none to push you, just like you push your family towards success, so we have to do it ourselves. If you get up.. and reach out.. if no one else does..God will give you a hand..

Go for it!

Changing Others...

Through my deep love for certain people close to my heart, I have tried to change them for the better, because I could see their path and what is lying for them ahead. But today, I have realized that it’s not something I could do. After spending many years trying to change their paths for the betterment of their own selves, I have failed considerably. Not just once but a few times this has happened to me.

Well, if only I had listened to the god’s voice inside of me, I wouldn’t have got hurt. But the truth is I didn’t. I realized I couldn’t change anyone. It’s only god who can do it. And god himself tells me even he can’t, if the person concerned is not opening his heart to him.

I am sure, some of you, like me have tried this. In my case I failed miserably. But I realize that this is because I tried to do something that I have no power and authority to begin with. No matter how much I love a person, or how much great intensions I have towards the growth of that person, I cant change a person if the person truly does not want to change. He or she needs to learn his lessons in his own preferred way. I personally try to avoid trouble.. When I see trouble heading my way, if I can I try to cross the road. I try not to fall in deep to the pit – but this is how I am used to. I noticed not all do this way. Some of my loved ones, regardless of how much assistance they get, still prefer to fall into the pit, or go “head-on” colliding with trouble. And I realize now this is how they learn. And yet, still a few don’t lean from their mistakes. They keep repeating them over and over again. They fall into the same pit again and again. It’s hard to see some one walking on the wrong path. But I realize now that this is how they learn their lessons.

What can we do? Just pray for them and let them be. And continue our journey on our own path. First, I thought it was selfish, but I realize now its not. For each person has a different path to walk on and we do it on our own way and own time. We really don’t have power to change others, especially if they are not open to being helped.

Are you constantly trying to change someone? I am sure it’s for good reasons but – if its not working then may the person is not ready to change yet.

Thank You - Dear GOD

Dear God

Thank you so much for your presence during these very difficult times in my life. I had felt most people had left me, but you are still with me, every single day - day and night. Thank you for giving me a hand, when I needed it most.

I now know that you are the only constant friend in my life, and that you would never abandon me. Thank you dear god for always being there for me. Your presence in life is such a blessing. I really couldnt survive without your love and support.

Thank you for your guidance dear god, thank you for showing me the way, thank you for holding my hand through my walk in the darkness, thank you for giving me courage, wisdom and hope and thank you for all the lessons in life. From each lesson I have learnt something absolutely great.

With all the things that had happened in my life, and also the things that are currently happening, I have leant a lot from these lessons. I have been able to still find strength in sorrow and sadness. I have become more courageous, wiser and more knowledgeable about myself, people around me and life. Through all these miseries I have become closer to you. As people distanced from me or I distanced from them, I have got closer to you and have found a real loving, loyal, sincere friend in you. Thank you for your friendship and extending your unconditional love towards me.

Thank you for being in my life.

God's friendship and love is extended to all, if you open your heart - he is there.

A conversation with My SELF...

I was looking for my self.. yes, my lost self…

Niroma.. Niroma.. where are you? I can't find her...

No response.. I was worried.. had she left me? had she bid good-bye to me?

Niroma.. Niroma.. please.. I am sorry, I know I have neglected you.. I have been busy and I know I have not spent time with you enough.. but please.. don’t be mad.. come back.. come back….I have missed you…and I realized.. you are all I have..

Huum…promise? Promise you don’t treat me like a doormat? Promise you don’t treat me like the city’s bin? I am mad I dont feel like talking to you...

Ohhh.. you are there.. thank god.. you didn’t leave me.. thank god.. yes, yes, yes, I am sorry, I know.. I have not treated you well.. I am really sorry.. I had not given you time..

Yes, you have time for every one else but you don’t have time for me? And you say I am the most important person in your life? And you only have me..that is crap... well I tell you missy for a person who says things like that, you are really not delivering.. All this talk is not okay with me.. do you realize, people talk a lot theseday? you, and everyone else.. the leaders, the followers, and all else.... they talk.. make big promises.. I will give you this and that, and be there for you and love you and all that crap but really.. where is the action.. no goods are being delivered.. so you cheat each other.. with more and more promises, and these days no one feels guilty about broken promises.. because it’s the norm and its hip to do this.. Sorry? My foot, that word has no meaning anymore, it’s the same with I love you too.. do you realize that today words have no meaning? Food has no taste? Flowers don’t smell anymore? Values are not valued anymore? Fashion has no style anymore? Music has no rhythm anymore? Dancing its full of vulgarity? I guess I am mad.. yeah I think I am mad.. see I don’t even know if I am mad..

I am sorry, please.. let me try to make things work.. I don’t want you to go away.. because this is the truth.. you are the only person I have.. my mother told me this many many times but I didn’t really realize.. she said we are born alone and we die alone.. after 42 years I realize this.. other than god you are the only person I truly have.. I realize I had not paid attention to you or value yourself the way I should have.. I had always wanted others to be with me.. .. one after other I have been looking for someone.. if not Jane its Jill (you know its not Jane or Jill.. but you get my point) but Jane or Jill it’s the same.. the difference is they come in different sizes and colours… perhaps I have really looked for you in others? And had thought others could replace you? Perhaps I had not really realized the person I have been looking is you? I dont know.. do I make sense.. you are me, I am you then why am I talking to you.. does this mean I am talking to me.. well it does not matter.. you understand me right? I am sorry, will you come back to me? I promise I will not neglect you, I will also not let people walk all over you like a doormat. Lets be friends shall we? Lets give it another try.. Please…

Huum.. after all, you are also me.. and I am also you.. I am your inside and you are my outside.. I guess we have to learn to live together.. I cant live without you and you can live without me.. So.. I am open to trying it.. if you are willing.. it’s a commitment.. it’s as important or if not more - than the commitments you make with others, your employer, friends and family. I want you to realize you have a responsibility towards me. This is your primary responsibility but you seem to have forgotten that and you put every one and every thing before me. I want to stand up for myself.. I don’t want to be at the bottom of your list. I am the star in your life and I want to be treated like the star and not the doormat.

If I don’t fight for you tell me who would? If I don’t take care of yourself and myself tell me who would? When you are sick who is by your side? When you are hurting who is there for you? When you are alone who is there for you? I am you and I am also your best friend. Just the way you treat your best friends in life, you need to treat me with the same love, respect, warmth and dignity. I know you are a great friend to your friends.. for some you would give your life.. but would you for me? Would you be my best friend? Me the person who lives with you every minute, every second of your life? People have come and gone in your life.. but have I really left you? I may have given you the silent treatment (I learnt this from your mother!) but I have not left you.. if I have left you then to whom are you talking to now? I am here.. I have always been here.. I know your every move, every thought – you cant fool me. And don’t even try.. so yeah.. and yes, I want to us to try.. to be best of friends.. huum… by the way.. yes, I love you. You should give me a medal for I have lived with you for 42 years.. soon 43.. who ever lived with you for that long? And for how ever number of years I have left I will still live with you.. I don’t have a choice because this is god’s choice.. I have to say sometimes, I have considered leaving.. I have felt like looking outside for better opportunities.. it sickens me when you don’t treat me the way you treat others.. yeah, you are really nice to others.. always there for them.. giving your love and support.. time and energy and everything.. you are always phone call away, e-mail away.. well that’s great.. keep it up.. but don’t neglect me.. remember I am here too and I am you.

Yup.. it’s a long lecture.. you know me.. don’t talk much on regular basis.. but I thought I had to.. you need to get some things in your head.. I am serious.. I hope I don’t have to repeat this again..

I understand every word you have said.. and I am in agreement.. I know I have not been that good to you.. I am sorry and I mean it.. please forgive me.. I am going to remember this conversation and try to make things better.. we are approaching a new year.. 2009.. I want to be good to you.. thank you for your words…

Have you spoken to yourself lately? I have and I have just been TOLD! but I needed to hear that..

Are you there for yourself?

Well, it’s been while since I have written anything in my blog.. days are passing by so quickly – I feel I am like in a rat race. Running.. running and running.. where to? I don’t even know.. I feel exhausted at the end of the day.. so many obligations, so many responsibilities, duties and commitments, by the time I get everything done I am too tired to be there for myself. Hello.. Hello.. Niroma.. where are you? I feel she has left.. well I can't blame her..

Things are certainly not happening according to plan, disappointments and heartbreaks but yet life goes on. Sometimes, I feel like I dont want to see the dawn of another day.. but well.. here it comes.. Hum, I feel I am trapped in a gloomy spell that doesn’t seem to pass.. sunshine! Sunshine!! Where are you? I am missing you..

I had wanted to write more this year.. but I wasn’t able to accomplish it.... and then there is this book I had wanted to write – I have been thinking about it for years now.. Where does time go? Doing what?

I am in the business of getting other people on track.. It comes naturally because it’s also my daytime job! but now, I feel totally out of track. Who is going to care for the caregiver? Who will counsel the counselor?

Well, I guess, its time I do something about it – before I lose myself totally. I need to find myself and get in touch with my self. Afterall, who would I be without Niroma.. .when I come to think of it.. she is the most important person in my life next to god.. I will have to do what I do for others. Yes, be there for myself. I hope you are not in the same boat as I am… I will tell you it’s not a good place to be.. its empty and certainly not fun. Takes the zest of your life.. its like a day old, opened can of soda.. no fizz.. no jazz.. no nothing.. oh.. a double negative.. it is double negative..

okay.. got to go.. got to be there for myself.. that is all I've got...

Are you there for yourself? if not... you better be!