Decease to Please

For years and years I use to suffer from the decease to please others. I wanted to do everything possible to make others around me happy. I thought by doing this I would be loved by all. By doing this I neglected my own self – my own dreams and desires. I didn’t realize by doing this I was betraying my own self. I don’t think I am ever guilty of treating others bad… but I must admit I have not treated my self that good in the past. Unconsciously though, in the name of pleasing others I have displeased my self. The saddest part was, even by giving all what I had I just could not make everyone happy. This made me think otherwise.

I used to constantly do and say things to please others. Others – sometimes who had no value to me – I would attend parties and events just to please others… engage in activities that had absolutely no interest to me – be part of conversations had no meaning or interest to me – As I thought I was pleasing others I was thoroughly neglecting my self. I was suffocating my self through my own acts and behaviour. Obviously, I was not listening to my inner-self. I did not pay attention to what it was saying. I was constantly trying to “hush” my true self.

I would constantly put other’s interests and needs on top of mine. I was on the very bottom of my list… By the time, I reached my self I was always tired of doing and being there for others. I never got the best of me. This happened all the time. It was the norm.

After years of suffering from the decease I am now recovering. I must admit it feels good. It feels good to take care of my self and pay attention to my needs. I use to think it was selfish to do that - but I was wrong. Its good to live with self-love. I feel ,I am a much better person. Now I can give fully, participate fully. I don’t say “yes” to everything anymore. I think now I am more honest to my self. I have moved my self to the top of my list. So I too get the best of me. I still give my time and attention to others around me. But I don’t try just to please others. I am more conscious of my actions… about what I choose to do. I have learnt to say “NO” and work within my abilities and limits. I am more genuine and honest with my relationships. When I am there with them I am there fully. I have also learnt to appreciate the honesty in relationships. If people could not do things for me or always be there for me – I do not feel hurt anymore. I do understand they too have other important things to attend in life just like I do.

I realized people who like me have always liked me for who I am - for I too like them for who they are….and to tell you the truth people who does not like me – I too are not too crazy about them. So the feeling is mutual. Its funny though, when I look back – it’s the people I thought who didn’t like me – that I tried so hard to please. It never worked! The people who liked me liked me regardless. I have wasted my energy for so long. Now I feel comfortable with not everybody liking me. Because I too don’t like everybody. I am at peace knowing this. I don’t expect the whole world to like me. It’s impossible. Do I like the whole world? No! So who am I to demand that sort of unrealistic expectations? As a recovering addict I can tell you this - I now have more energy and true enthusiasm to work with people I truly like.

Are you suffering from the Decease to Please?