Please... Understand!

Please understand…
I am your child
But I am not a piece of clay
Don’t try to mould me in to piece of pottery
For I am made out of flesh
And I have a soul...
When you try to mould me
Like a piece of clay
My soul gets crushed

and it gets damaged
Beyond repair

The creator has given me a mind
And a soul of my own...
I have a mission and a vision
To live my very best life
If I didn’t follow your dream
It does not mean
I don’t care for you
Or I don’t respect you

But please understand
I have to live my best life
Honouring my own true self
I have to use the tools
That is given to me
By my creator

I cant be the best me
If I try to follow your plan
So please understand
I have to find my way
I may not follow your path
Or follow your footsteps
But, I will find my own path
And decide to walk on that
But that does not mean
I have no respect
For my life or for yours
That does not mean
I have no dreams of my own
That does not mean
I am here for a free ride

with nothing to contribute...

Please trust me
That I can make my own decisions
That I am thankful for
All you have done
You have taught me
Many things
You have given me my values
You have given me ethics
You have taught me principles
And I am eternally thankful for that…

I still need your love
I still need your guidance
I still need your blessings
I can’t survive without you
I can’t accomplish my dreams
If I don’t have your support
So please don’t turn away
From me
If I don’t follow your dream
If I don’t follow your foot steps
Please give me a chance
And please have patience
Please believe in me
And please trust me
I will make something
Good out of me and my life
Please be with me
While I find my path
For I cant do it
Without you.

Could you try to understand your child a bit more today?

I am here for YOU

This is dedicated to a Very Special FRIEND

I know you are going through a really rough time
But I just want to let you know that I am here for you
As your friend..

Please understand…
This too shall pass my dear
And you will survive and rise above
I know this my friend
You will come out better than before

as a very strong human being....

You have experienced love, happiness, to-getherness and laughter
And you know how wonderful it feels
To be showered with such thoughts and acts...
But now - my friend..

It’s your turn to experience the opposite
Anger, frustration, confusion, and separation
You must also experience these to make your life complete
For it’s through these

You master courage, strength and wisdom
Perseverance,determination and focus
Just think about it my dear friend
When everything is going well in your life
You don’t need much faith..
You don’t need much courage...
You don’t need much wisdom...
Because things just flow like water…..

But when things are not going well, my friend
You need courage...
You need faith...
You need wisdom...
To help you through your journey

My dear Friend….
All though you think you have lost a lot
I am telling you ..
You have not!
With your loss you also have gained
Many new things in your life…

you did not have before

You are put on test
To see how you do in crisis…
To see how you handle problems
To see how you learn to take care of things

To see how you live for your self
To see how much faith you have
To see how much trust you have
In order to accomplish your dreams and goals

You will have to face these
In real life...

You cannot operate with love alone
You cannot operate with happiness alone
If you don’t have experience now my friend
Then how will you survive later….
How can you help another in crisis?
How can you guide another in trouble?
How can you identify a tear in another’s eye?


So my dear friend…
This is a test – and take it with grace my friend…
I believe you will come out with flying colours
For I believe in YOU my friend...

Although, we live miles apart and many time zones apart...
Please know,
I am with you every step of the way
Praying and wishing from all the best...

from the core of my heart

I pray....

for your happiness and success
And peace-of-mind
So never feel that you are alone…

Because I am here for YOU

In these difficult times
Walk forward with grace and confidence
Stay focused and be alert

Dont let anyone cloud your mind

Or step in your toes

Or distroy your peace-of-mind

Or take away the goodness you have

Or your dreams and goals...

Believe in your self and your faith
Never give up – my friend – Never!
Because you only have a few more steps to take to finish
Although you don’t know this…
You are so close to the end this race….

I am here for you MY DEAR FRIEND!

The Closed Door

I used to spend years and years trying to open close doors… yes, years and years – I am not talking about an year or two – close to 25 years - that is way more than a quarter of my life … I was stuck at one stage in my life and ONE door that was closed on me… I felt it slammed on my face… I cried and cried, wept and screamed.. I stood by the closed door – I tapped on it – knocked on it – thumped on it.. I tried to force-open it – it was never opened…I thought one day it would open – just one day – only if I was patient enough, only if I continue to dwell on enough sorrow and pain – only if I punish my self enough and feel sorry for myself it would be opened..but it never did!

By doing this I did not realize my youth was robbed – I missed the rainbows, I missed the sun set and sun rise, I missed the sparkling stars, I missed the summer rain, I missed the joys of life, joys of my youth – I was buried with self-pity - I did not see light. I was facing my back to light – I never saw the sun shine…. I was creating my own shadow by facing my back to the sun – I was standing in my own shadow… I missed out on all the fun… I didn’t think I have the right to have fun – just simple fun – because I was just waiting this door to open… which never did…I thought life will flow after this door was opened for me...

You know? what I did not realize was – every home has a front and a back door… I stood by the front door but people in it had left from the back door. They were long, long gone! but I did not know… my cries were never heard, there was nobody to answer the door – not only had they left, they had also built new homes and castles, oblivious to my sorrows – they had moved on – they probably didn’t realize I was still suffering, I was still weeping – they had moved on… To see, I was standing in front of an empty house for years and years…

During this time, many other doors were open to me – but I didn’t look – I didn’t turn – because I was so obsessed with the one that was closed – eventually the ones that were opened were also closed… I was alone in the corridor with all doors closed… it was a hard lesson but I learnt something good… I know now – not to dwell so much on closed doors… I know through experience now when a door closes on you another opens… this has happen to me many times I believe it now from the core of my heart… I am not saying this because some wise person said this... I am sharing this with you because I have experienced this my self...

Today, I have no anger or hatred for people who didn’t open that door for me – for I truly believe the door that was opened for me was always always better than the one was closed… It has been for me.

Are you trying to open a closed door?

It's Your CHOICE

What ever we do in life we have a choice… with what we do, say, think or behave we always have a choice… we can contribute or contaminate… and that is our own choice..

Regardless of who we are… every single day, with every single action or thought – we have a choice.. Yes, we can contribute or contaminate… with our words, actions, behaviour, gesture or thoughts… we can…

Opportunities are many – yes! Every single day, there are countless opportunities to contaminate or contribute… if we look clearly – we will see them… if we go with the mind to contribute there would be many opportunities within everyday to contribute – contribute to us – our own growth, to others, to the society and to the world…

Same we, if we go with the mind to contaminate there will also be ample opportunities to do so… there are many ways to be self-destructive, to be destructive to others, the society and also the world…

At the beginning each day and at the end of each day and also in between – we are presented with many choices – we can decide to contribute or contaminate… the choice belongs to us… We cant blame our creator for making a wrong choice… we all have been given wisdom – equal wisdom – rich or poor, man or woman, young or old - to make a choice… We can’t say opportunities are not given to us …. may be they are not always offered in a platter. .but they are there – far or near – they are there, which our reach – today, you have a choice to mend someone’s heart or break someone’s heart, you have a choice to bring a smile to someone’s face or bring a tear, you can lift someone’s spirit or you can dampen their spirits, you can have some fun or you can dwell in your sorrows, you can set-up or put-up a fire – it’s your choice! Do you contribute or do you contaminate? Opportunities are many for you to go either way…

Which path would you choose?

Dont tell me You love me

Don’t tell me you love me
Don’t tell me you only live for me
Don’t tell me you are doing everything for me
And turn back on me

And then point fingers at me
And find faults with me
Because you are angry

When things go wrong
And you cannot handle the anger
And the frustration
Don’t tell me “you are just like your Dad!”
Or “you are just like your Mom!”

It does not help me
At all…
It does not take away my pain at all
I may be young but I have feelings
Feelings I just don’t know how to express

I feel scared and lonely

I feel lost and empty

I feel sad....

but I may not tell you

because, I also dont want to make you sad...

I am not too young to know that
I am the creation of you both
I am part of you both
When you insult or ridicule
Dad or Mom
You are also insulting me
A part of me
For I am the creation of
Both of you
Don’t think I am too young to know that
I know ...

I have Mom’s eyes and Dad's pointy nose
I have Mom’s curly hair and Dad’s smile
I have Mom’s kind heart and Dad’s sense-of-humour
for I am the creation of
You both…

I am not a football
Don’t kick me between mom and dad

Dont push to me take sides...

It's not fair you ask me to do it
Don’t make me feel…
Like it’s all my fault
The reason for your split

If you must know...
I already feel bad
For your separation
For I need you both
Mummy and Daddy…
For I love you both
Mummy and Daddy…
I am trying to understand
Why you cant live together anymore
I am trying to understand
Why you cant make things right anymore
Why you cant say sorry
To each other

So..
Don’t tell me you love me
Don’t tell me you only live for me
Don’t tell me you are doing everything for me
And turn back on me

Just dont!

Go ahead... make somebody's day!

The other day, I was feeling miserable.. I was feeling empty, sad and lonely… I just could not pick up my self… I was in real need of some TLC – Tender, Loving, Care… I really struggled at work and I was happy when the day ended…Perhaps it’s the cold weather.. we are under a server cold weather alert here in Toronto for the last couple of days.. and its bitterly cold.. I no longer can go for my stroll at lunch, which I always look forward to… even on a chilly day I still go out with my thick jacket on, but now I cant…since its extremely cold…and I miss that. Maybe, I am been hit by the blues…for I sure felt blue…

As some of you know, I am in the business of counselling…which I love and feel blessed to be in… but that day, I just could not do it… I was just tired of giving, listening and being there for others… I feel guilty when this happens but I also know the truth is I am running empty.. I just don’t have any thing inside of me to give others….my fountain has dried… I have nothing to offer…

Just as I was going to wrap-up my day and call it quits, I opened my e-mail… there it was – a beautiful note from one of my former clients - I consider here a true friend…she is a remarkably positive, uplifting woman… She has always been special to me… she had written a beautiful note… it just gave light to my dark day… I felt good – it was lovely.. it lifted my sprits.. it took my gloom away… I felt appreciated, loved and cared…

Thank you Carmelita… you made my day…in fact, you saved my day… you reminded me why I am doing what I am doing and the importance of continuing to do what I do… you probably never guessed that your note would create such a positive difference but it truly did… it gave me energy… it replenished my empty fountain…
Thank you so much for taking the time to do it….

Lets not hesitate to show people our appreciation… we never know what kind of day they are having.. we all go about doing what we need to do…because we have to… but silently feeling miserable, sad or unappreciated… it only takes a few minutes of our precious time to let someone know they are appreciated or loved or remembered.. It’s just a phone call, an e-mail – that is all you need to do.. these days you don’t even have to spend money to buy a card or flowers or even spend a few cents for postage.. with the click of your mouse you can let people know how much you care for them… So why hesitate.. Today, take initiative to make someone’s day… you never know what a difference you could be making….

The Biggest GIFT you can give a Child

The biggest gift you can give a child
Is your time and love
To be around them, when they need you
To let them know they are precious and valued
And they are good enough
Just the way they are

Don’t try to compensate your time and love
With expensive gifts and gadgets
It may look like its working
But not for ever…
When that child becomes an adult
They will know that they were cheated
For “stuff” does not give them love
For “stuff” does not give them self-confidence
For “stuff” does not helpbuild courage

For "stuff " does not help take away fears

Remember being a child?
Looking back…
Does it really matter whether you had that latest toy or not?
Do you miss those toys and gadgets?

I dont think so...
What matters most
I think is the love and time we get
From our dear Moms and Dads
To feel that we are appreciated
As little people starting out in this world…
That they were there for us
When we need them most
To play, laugh and sing
To read books and paint pictures
To run after butterflies and listen to fairy tales
To make mud pies and climb trees
To hold our hand when are scared
Or lend a hand when needed
To give a hug to make things better
Take away our fears when we are frightened
And to save us from the big bad monster
And to tell us….
That everything will be all right

Because they are there for us
To show us the way…
When we are lost
To teach us A-B-C-D and nursery rhymes
To teach us simple manners and good habits
To teach us to say “I love you” and “thank you very much”
To kiss us good night and tuck us in to bed
And the list may go on and on…
But can “stuff” replace this…
I don’t think so….

So, remember today
The biggest gift you can give a child
Is your time and love

It's old and true

But its still the BEST GIFT!

Are you giving your child your time and love?

In honour of my dear FRIENDS

Thank you LORD, for my friends. I really cant imagine my life without my friends. I am so blessed to have great friends to share my life with. Neither by the thousands nor even the hundreds, but I am happy to have a very few great friends who have always been there for me – the sparkling gems of my life.

I know my life would be colourless, lifeless, and flavourless without my friendships. When I think of my friendships, I have cultivated for years I truly feel blessed and fortunate. I feel rich – like Donald Trump - like a millionaire!These wonderful people have always been there for me – during my good times and especially my bad. They have honestly and faithfully supported me offering their sincere love. Today, I have friends of different nationalities, men and women, faith groups, ages, sizes, skin colours and even shapes. But they are all high in the best human qualities - honest, loving, and compassionate and believe it or not they also love food. They have been there for me and offered their love and support. Be it a walk in the park, sharing a cup of coffee or a slice of cheesecake, shopping for make-up or trying out clothes, having lunch in the mall, talking nonsense, laughing and giggling and just been plain silly, or even having a much needed spiritual discussion, chat-on-the net or a long international call or simply gossiping (Yes, I have to admit. I do! But only with a very few) they have made a huge contribution towards my growth and they still continue to do so. If some one took away my friends I would be lost – and empty. I just want to let you know I cherish you all and love you all– those of you reading this you know I am talking to you. Here’s a prayer to you my Lord, you can take away everything I own – but leave my friends – for there are like air for me.

At times, I think - who am I? What do I do well? Sometimes, nothing comes to my mind but friend. Perhaps, it’s the only great quality I have. A friend. That is my gift to you – I know I can be a Friend to you because I know the value of a friend.

Thank you all my dear friends for your continuous love and support. Thank you for your honesty and genuineness. Thank you for giving energy to my soul. Thank you for being part of my life. Thank you for tolerating me. You all have a place in my heart and you are all are invited to sit in my heart… o.k. Now take it easy… may be one at a time….some of you have gotten quite heavy over the years… ouch… yeah! That hurts ah?

Thank you and Love You.

May the Good Lord Bless You and Keep You Safe.

When I was FIVE

When I was five...
I knew what I wanted to be
When I grew up...
I wanted to be a Piano Music Teacher
I did not know how to speak my mind then
But I knew how to dream…

I dreamt day-in, day-out
24x7 and 365... and more
I pretended I was playing the piano
Even when I was having a bath
In my bath tub with my rubber duckies..
I pretended I was playing the piano..
I hoped one day when I grew up
Some one would ask me
What I wanted to do…

Little by little…
I grew up

I waited and waited...
But nobody asked me…
What I wanted to be

I was polite and gentle…
I thought I should never tell
What I wanted
Or what I needed
Unless someone asked me first…
They all forgot to ask me
What I wanted…
Instead they all told me
What I should to….

I should be this or that…
But it had no interest in my heart…
My eyes did not glee with joy
My heart did not sing with happiness
I did not find the fire within my soul
There was no spark…

Then I did not have the wisdom
To understand…

becasue I was five
That in real life…
No one really asks you "what do you want?"

Eventually, my time flew by…
With my dreams still tucked in my soul…
Untouched – untapped…
It died without creating that light…

But I am telling you this

When I was five…
I knew what I wanted to be
When I grew up…
It's just that
I did not know

how to say it out loud…

Lets pay attention to our kids.. shall we?

I Miss You

Hey, all how are you? Sorry, folks I have not written for some time. Hmmm… may be I am hit by the writer’s block or some other block.

I am missing my source of inspiration these days… Sheri my googie-ga-ga girl… she is my fan and my critique… she is busy – with her new job, new home, 3 kids and 1 big husband – sorry Jae! It’s a handful… yeah, I did not necessarily mean the latter but then come to think about it – it could be. She is busy painting her walls of her new home and arranging furniture… she is also busy getting to know her new co-workers… well but I am very positive she will not get a co-worker like me. Well I am candid and have guts… sorry Sheri if you hate my guts! But it’s the truth.

Its funny when Sheri was around I would blog like crazy – now I don’t know what has happened. Every morning, I wait for the feedback she gives me – its important for me – she’ll tell me if I am going in the right direction or not … she is honest…she is direct… she does not cushion things… She would listen to my silly dreams, my views and insights... she tolerates my silliness... I can ask for for a hug or energy... (well, sometimes, she steals the little energy I am left with) well, that is a another story!

She was also my co-worker… we case conference on a lot of things.. We had discussions about a lot of things…. We talk about FOOD, life, people, world, MEN (you see they are different from people), FOOD, dirt-cheap sales, manner less, ruthless people, home designing, diets (that never work for us) eating healthy (always, struggle here) and FOOD. Notice I said food a couple of times…. What ever we talk about it goes back to one single topic FOOD – we are highly passionate about our food and we take it seriously. We also sometimes have discussions about NOTHING…and they are the best discussions. We crave for cheesecake in the mid morning… food definitely is a major source of inspiration for the both of us…We’d drive to the town centre for more yumma-licious food…rain or shine...we’d sit and enjoy a tub of West Indian ice-cream – it gives us a chill – sometimes the chill is too much it gives us shivers, so we microwave them – yeah – ice-cream - have you ever heard of that? But it happens in our world… Some days we split a portion of garlic potatoes topped with loads of sour cream .. then complain we smell garlicky all afternoon… or go for a beef roll with spicy hot sauce. We would have a craving in the mid afternoon for spicy tamarind balls coated with sugar… it gives us energy to manage our ever stressful work. We recognize each other’s Pain in the eyes… yes! Hunger Pains…. She would surprise me with a slice of oh!-so-yummy Bailey’s cheesecake – my pain diminishes within seconds and I am back to work.

I miss the girl talk we had – criticizing our husbands every single day – it’s a great stress reliever. Each day it’s another interesting topic. She tells me I am like her husband – my brother-from-another-mother… I know its a handful - me and Jae - it too much! she always recognizes my monkey self – - she knows when my monkey is on before even I know…Its easy to talk to her. I don’t have to cushion things and add the rosette, or the frill or the bow – I don’t have to watch my words and re-edit them… I can be my true manner-less, undiplomatic, politically incorrect, absolutely fantastic, gorgeous self!

Well what does this tell you – I miss her – no way! I cant say it – I am GREEN – I am not koochi koo. We move on right! We don’t miss anyone. We cope. Our pride comes in the way.

O.K. I will say it – Sheri… I miss you.

Hmmm….long pause….. Ah! Not so bad!!!… I am still alive… yeah.. I am breathing…I can hear my self typing.. I said it…

I hope you take time today to tell people, who are important in your life that you love their presence and miss them when they are not around… there is no pride in keeping it to yourself… These are exceptional people in your life… they give you that spark to move on in life… And I know sometimes, it’s nice to know we are missed and its good to let them know.

Take a RISK...

Even though things didn’t work out
The way I planned or envisioned…
I still believe….
What I did was right
And with the right intensions….
Some may think I am naïve
Some may think I am stupid
But its still o.k.
Because I believe

What I did was right and for the right reasons

I rather take a risk..
Than be scared…
Or taking a step forward
Because I am scared to make a mistake…
Scared to make a move…
Thinking about this and that
And what others might think
Say or do….
What is safe – what is not?
Who is genuine – who is not
Who is faithful – who is not?
How do I know?
I only know…
What I know
I don’t have the power to live in another’s mind


Even if I make a mistake..
I trust and believe ...
The good Lord will forgive me
For I did it with good intensions
I believe it will protect me and keep me safe…
For I did it with good intensions
I rather take a risk and make a move
Than holding my self back
With fear and anxiety….
Repenting later for not trying

Feeling sorry for myself...
Life is too short
To limit my self to the shell
I guess, finally at the end
Our worth is determined by
Our successes and not our failures
And how would I know
If I'll be successful
If I did not try…….

Are you holding back something? Take a risk… Try – how would you know if you don’t try?

Decease to Please

For years and years I use to suffer from the decease to please others. I wanted to do everything possible to make others around me happy. I thought by doing this I would be loved by all. By doing this I neglected my own self – my own dreams and desires. I didn’t realize by doing this I was betraying my own self. I don’t think I am ever guilty of treating others bad… but I must admit I have not treated my self that good in the past. Unconsciously though, in the name of pleasing others I have displeased my self. The saddest part was, even by giving all what I had I just could not make everyone happy. This made me think otherwise.

I used to constantly do and say things to please others. Others – sometimes who had no value to me – I would attend parties and events just to please others… engage in activities that had absolutely no interest to me – be part of conversations had no meaning or interest to me – As I thought I was pleasing others I was thoroughly neglecting my self. I was suffocating my self through my own acts and behaviour. Obviously, I was not listening to my inner-self. I did not pay attention to what it was saying. I was constantly trying to “hush” my true self.

I would constantly put other’s interests and needs on top of mine. I was on the very bottom of my list… By the time, I reached my self I was always tired of doing and being there for others. I never got the best of me. This happened all the time. It was the norm.

After years of suffering from the decease I am now recovering. I must admit it feels good. It feels good to take care of my self and pay attention to my needs. I use to think it was selfish to do that - but I was wrong. Its good to live with self-love. I feel ,I am a much better person. Now I can give fully, participate fully. I don’t say “yes” to everything anymore. I think now I am more honest to my self. I have moved my self to the top of my list. So I too get the best of me. I still give my time and attention to others around me. But I don’t try just to please others. I am more conscious of my actions… about what I choose to do. I have learnt to say “NO” and work within my abilities and limits. I am more genuine and honest with my relationships. When I am there with them I am there fully. I have also learnt to appreciate the honesty in relationships. If people could not do things for me or always be there for me – I do not feel hurt anymore. I do understand they too have other important things to attend in life just like I do.

I realized people who like me have always liked me for who I am - for I too like them for who they are….and to tell you the truth people who does not like me – I too are not too crazy about them. So the feeling is mutual. Its funny though, when I look back – it’s the people I thought who didn’t like me – that I tried so hard to please. It never worked! The people who liked me liked me regardless. I have wasted my energy for so long. Now I feel comfortable with not everybody liking me. Because I too don’t like everybody. I am at peace knowing this. I don’t expect the whole world to like me. It’s impossible. Do I like the whole world? No! So who am I to demand that sort of unrealistic expectations? As a recovering addict I can tell you this - I now have more energy and true enthusiasm to work with people I truly like.

Are you suffering from the Decease to Please?

Are you there for YOU?

Hope you all are excited about this NEW year…. I am!

I hope this New Year you will choose to be there for yourself… that is if you haven’t been. To take care of your own needs… to put your self on the pedestal and to move you to the top of your list…if you don’t consider yourself as important who else will?

There comes a stage in life we need to take care of our own needs… I have certainly reached that stage… I am tired of not been there for myself…for me - my own self care is very important… I cannot depend on others to take care of my dreams… I just have to do it myself…

Recently, I was talking to an older friend of mine… she is now over 60 and she is a mother of 3 grown children. We were having a heart –to- heart talk and she sounded so unhappy with her self. She said that she never had any time to take care of her dreams and goals… although she was happy to be there for her children she missed not being there for her…She had also been there for her husband... supporting them with all their dreams and goals...There were tears in her eyes… I could feel her sadness...she talked about the dreams she had… the talents she had when she was young… her hopes…She had expected her parents and later her husband to encourage her to achieve her goals… I re-assured her that she can still do those things… but she said it’s too late… because she no longer had the physical energy to do certain things…. Perhaps, she is right… although we say its never too late… there comes a time in life it could be..

I am sharing this experience with you because you also may be thinking of doing something… but not really taking any action… we tend to procrastinate things for a lot of reasons…. Especially, when it comes achieving a personal goal.. We also depend on others to give us encouragement… we expect this…. We think it’s their duty…. Even if we have the talent and know we need to go ahead and do something we just wait for someone else to push us… sometimes, unfortunately, it will never happen…the approval or the encouragement will never happen… then what happens?

We are used to thinking ourselves in some role - mother, father, brother, sister, daughter, son, etc… etc… We are more moldered to taking care of responsibilities and obligations… We take them more seriously… and often neglect our own personal desires…

So, today take the first step.. do something for you… yes, YOU… just you… whatever it is… be it singing, belly dancing, writing, painting, gardening, travelling… take a step… it needn't be a big one… one little baby step…just try… what do you have to lose? If you fail so what? Who is giving you points?

Let me share… I am glad I started to write this blog… I had thought about it for a long time but procrastinated… fear was a big barrier… fear of failure was huge… fear of making mistakes in my writing may be… but now I don’t… I don’t think I write perfect… it’s not even important to me any more… but when I write I know I am honouring my true self… I feel connected to my self… Its not an obligation, its not a responsibility, I am not fulfilling anybody’s expectations – I feel this is where I get to be ME… its freeing and its such beautiful feeling… if I ever live up to 60 I don’t want to feel like I didn’t take care of my needs and goals and aspirations… I want to feel like I honoured my self in the best possible way I can…

I know I am a responsible individual… I never shy away from responsiblity… I fulfill my roles as wife, sister, employee, friend, etc, etc, in the best of my ability…but I realize I also have a responsibility to take care of my own needs just the way I do for others… I choose to be there for ME!

Are you there for YOU?

Happy New Year!

Wish you all a very happy New Year
May your life be filled with….
Peace, happiness and joy
May all your dreams come true
And this year…
May you find your True Self…
May you find the True Purpose of your beautiful life…
So that you will be able to live your life
Up to your truest potential….

May you be able to
Live your best life every single Day...

Thank you all…
To my dear readers…
Thank you for your lovely comments…
And encouraging e-mails
Thank you for motivating me...
To continue writing this blog
It means a lot to me....
To know that you all care
and appreciate my work…
And to know that
I am able to reach you all
And touch your soul in some way…

Just like you have motivated me..
I hope I am able to motivate you
At least in some simple way…
To live your best life
Every single day…
To live up to your truest potential
And become the BEST you…

May you have a great year ahead
Filled with beautiful moments...
May you have the courage and wisdom
To face the unavoidable....
May you come closer and closer

Every single day of this new year...
To become the BEST you…

Love you All…….

"U" in YOu

Can you believe its December 31, 2006…. The last day of 2006….This time around the year, I always get so excited.. Its because this is the time to reflect on the past year, and to review my goals for the New Year. A brand new start… if things have not gone o.k. for some of us… then there is hope we will be able to make things right – at least there is hope…HOPE is a great thing!

I hope this year you will make some “ME TIME” for yourselves. JUST FOR YOU… to honour that great person… the “U” in you – perhaps, this coming new year we can try to put the “U” in you first… hard… Traditionally, it's always the last… right? – but let’s give it a try!

I believe through my own experiences the most supportive, loving, encouraging person lives within us. That is our own inner self – that is the “U” in YOU! Some may call it the “true self”, “higher power”, “godly self” or the “authentic self”… I hope you have made connection with your inner-self. We all have that within us… that is not just unique to me. It’s within you too. But it’s your responsibility to find it. I also believe its our primary purpose in life to find it and honour it with the best of our ability. If you have not done it already, just give it a try.

How do you find it… by being quiet and listening to your self… it will become closer to you by doing things that you love to do.. simple things.. by truly relaxing your mind and body… you may need lots of patience… lots of it… and practice… Lets try to put aside some time to work on own dreams and goals – they can be big or small – Its good to connect with our inner-selves, listen to our inner-voices and try to honour our true selves.

When you find your true self you will not feel lonely… even if you are alone you will not feel lonely.. That is the true benefit. Even if the whole world is against you, your true self will be there for you – by your side – loving you, supporting you and encouraging you towards achieving your own goals in life.

We tend to constantly seek external support to achieve our goals – and sometimes, these external support can fail us for what ever reasons…I am sure you have experienced this too… sometimes, they cant be reliable or dependable… I am not saying we dont need external support - we certainly do...But we also need to seek internal support from our own inner-selves…Remember, we are built with a internal support system… The Good Lord has given this to us already.. but finding the “switch” is our Job. All we have to do is find that “switch” and put it “on” so there will be “light” in your life. Why live in darkness? Don’t you think we owe this to ourselves?

Nobody else can be more passionate than our own selves about our own goals… Nobody else has the drive and the determination of pursuing our own goals than our own selves… Lets try to find our inner-selves, it’s within us… its there… in us.. You and me and all… finding it is our task… when we do, its worth it… then will no longer depend on outside support for achieving your goals…If outside support is there its good. If not, it’s good too. You will not feel crippled without it because you now have the ‘U” in you…. You will feel stronger and confident, courageous and supportive, determined and perseverant – because now you are not alone… You have “U” and you have light. You will turn inside because you have a best friend within you that will never leave you.


Are you in touch with the “U” in you?

Christmas Dinner

Hi there, hope you all had a great Christmas…

I sure had a good one myself! As some of you already knew, I had given my husband a gift – an all inclusive, paid holiday to be with his mother and family away from Canada. So, that meant I was home alone.. Yeah… sounds scary… ha..ha.. I felt like the “kid” in the movie “Home Alone”…. Sure… at times, felt like wrecking the home too…

One thing for sure, I wasn’t going to spend my Christmas miserable… although we don’t celebrate Christmas, I love the Christmas cheer… it is time to sit back, relax and enjoy. Well, it’s also the only holiday we get here in Canada other than Thanksgiving.. so we might as well enjoy and have great time…

I thought of having a little party… yeah.. I was in the mood to Partay! Partay!! Well, I did not have a lot of stuff at home – I peeped in to the fridge – it wasn’t full – opened the pantry cupboards … not a lot left there too -since I hadn’t done groceries and I am kind of crippled because I cant drive… because I depend on my husband for this.. (O.K. More on this later – lets keep on track right?) But I was determined to have some fun.. so I invited my friend Sumi and her family over for dinner on Christmas Day. They too don’t celebrate Christmas and also like me have no other family. And besides the poor woman had to work on Christmas Day. So I thought it would be a great way for her to unwind, relax and chill.

Boy! That was interesting and challenging…I didn’t have enough of anything to follow a traditional recipe…so I had to be really creative… I added a bit of this and bit of that and was able to make a full meal – of course, at this point I was making meals I had never made before…. May I admit? I had to really pray to the Lord because at one point I was scared whether I would be able to make it. Believe me, I was able to make a really nice complete meal with what I was left with…. I even managed to whip up a really nice dessert – thanks to my husband… I hope he won’t miss it…ooops… yeah.. Emptied his bottle of brandy – threw in some fresh apples and pears, butter, brown sugar, resin-nut bran cereal, vanilla and baked it for half-an-hour… Ah.. It tasted so… good… served it piping hot over crushed chocolate creamsicles… because I did not even have ice cream at home…. But it tasted so…. yummy… that I think was the perfect ending to a no-name menu!

The evening turned out to be wonderful.. We emptied a bottle of wine, relaxed, laughed and talked a lot…my friends were happy with the meal and I received a lot of compliments too. I was happy not because of the complements because I too had a great evening… I am glad I decided to do that because if not I would have just sat in misery thinking of the great Christmases other people were having… And I was happy to share what ever I had… food, home and time with others …isn’t this what Christmas is about?

o.k… you guessed it right!.. there is a point to my sharing this.. this is not about the No-Name dishes I made….sometimes, in life too.. we may not have a full stock in hand… we may lack this or that… but yet we still have to face life… do our best and make something out of what we are left with… Only a very few of us may ever feel like we have a full stock…but many of us don’t… So, lets take a risk here….And if we think creatively, I believe, we certainly can pull-off something pretty good.. something pretty unique too…. Who says we have to serve what everybody else serves.. Lets remember in life – you are the Chef… its up to you to how you whip things up… When in doubt always garnish with lots of love, compassion and kindness – sprinkle it with good humour… it never goes wrong… Be genuine – it will always taste good…

Out to PLAY

In each and every one of us….
Buried, deep down is a child
A child who likes to play
Have fun and be silly….
No matter how old we are
Thirty, forty, fifty or beyond
There is a child
Who wants to be loved, appreciated and touched
A child that never grows old
Right here, in side each of us…

It’s not a crime to let your child out
We needn’t be ashamed
To revive the child in each of us
In fact, I think it’s a shame
When we don’t do that…

Sure, as we tell ourselves…
We are adults!
We tend to neglect our inner child
We bury it with mundane tasks and endless responsibilities
Rules and regulations
And tiresome obligations
We cage our inner child
And ask it to keep quiet
“Hush!”
But why?

Every now and then
Lets take our inner child out to play
To have fun, to laugh and to make merry
Let it out and set it free ….
And see how much fun it brings to your grown self
It yearns for simple things
Just like a kid
It sees the joy and happiness
In simple things…
In dew drops and seashells
In butterflies and rainbows
In ice cream and chocolate and candy
It likes laughter and cheer
Love and affection
Humour and giggles…
Nothing fancy, nothing expensive
Nothing beyond reach
So today, let your inner child out
And let it have some fun….

Sounds silly? Try it .... you might have some fun...

Reach Out!

Last morning as I was walking out to the bus stop, I slipped on a patch of black ice and fell. Yes, I went on all fours and it was a very hard fall. I did go down with a “thud” as I am no featherweight. I fell flat on my stomach and for a moment or two did not really know what had happened. There was a woman who walked by me – as I was lying on the road trying really hard to pick up my self – I saw her stilettos passing me by. In my mind I was screaming “help, help” but the words did not come out. I thought the stilettos would reach me. But it didn’t. Perhaps she didn’t hear, perhaps she was preoccupied with something else. Boy! I would have really appreciated someone’s helping hand – that would have meant a lot to me.

As I was picking myself up with great difficulty – thanks to my own hands – that is a lot of weight to lift – I was thinking to my self…. This happens often in real life… doesn’t it? Often, we just have to pick ourselves - by ourselves with no external support. Whether it is a physical fall like mine or some other falling in life – when we are down – it is scary and lonely out there. And we become helpless. I experienced this myself yesterday. As I was down there, I looked up – the sky seemed much higher than usual, the trees and buildings too, even the stilettos looked unreachable. I guess, it’s a different picture you see when you are down there. And if someone remains there for a long time then it becomes impossible to pick-up one self. I can understand, why some people give up. Some times, it’s hard to get-up in life without a helping hand. Last week, closer to home – a young woman took her life. She also took her young son along with her. She jumped off an overhead bridge to the busy highway. She pushed her son before she took her life. Sad but it’s true.

If we can, lets remember to reach out and give some one a hand to get-up in life. We all need to help each other. I don’t think we are meant to do this alone. We can’t. Lets be conscious and sensitive towards people around us. If we took a moment to help another would our lives crash? I don’t think so…

On a lighter note, the previous night I was complaining to my husband that my stomach is growing bigger by the day. No! I am not pregnant. It is just lack of exercise. But last morning – it acted as my airbag. The extra padding really prevented any bones from cracking. I am still in severe pain but things could have been worse. Hmmm… you never know what might come in handy. I have a new sense of appreciation for my tummy now!

Happily Ever After....When?

I find it strange that many of us live our lives preparing to live…yes, preparing to be happy, successful and contend someday. As if there is going to be a time where we can say, “ and we lived happily ever after”. I am sure many of us are familiar with the endings of such fairytales – no one ever knows what happens after they start to live happily ever after. I know of some people who have taken this route – I also knew a few people who never saw the end. They parted while they were preparing to live happily ever after. They were always tired and exhausted preparing for life – they didn’t have time to nurture relationships, connect with others or even get connected with their own selves. They departed not knowing who they are or why they were here. Many of them had excelled professionally, had climbed the ladder to the top, managed to hold some of the highest designations, owned mansions and lots of wealth, even had spouses and children but never had time to know them. To talk to them or listen to them or engage in any activities with them… Not because they didn’t care but they were busy preparing to live life one day.

We take life for granted and believe one day there is going to be a time when everything is hunky-dory. Well, I don’t know whether you have, but I have not reached this stage and nor do I believe, I will during my lifetime. The happiness of our lives is in the moments. There is always something or the other we have to deal with at any given time. Some crisis, some catastrophe, some trauma, some distressing issue. But if we look closely, happiness and success is also there – intertwined with all these…there is triumph, there is joy, there is satisfaction, there is laughter, there is love… It is there in the moments. Not in blocks of decades but in moments. Just like the precious gems, its there mixed in with the dirt and grime.

Some of us strive hard to gather all material things. Neglecting relationships – whether is spousal or parent-child or any other. We are busy gathering stuff to be happy one day. We have no time to talk or listen to others, we have no time to sit-together and enjoy a meal, we have no time to go for a relaxing walk, listen to some joyful music, attend a fun event…we have no time to hold hands, we have no time for a warm hug.. we don’t even have time to breath…. nothing. Because we are busy preparing to be happy one day. The sad part is some of us don’t even know what makes us happy –we have no time to know because we are too busy preparing to be happy someday.

I believe life is meant to be lived and not saved. Life is meant to be fully consumed before we depart. Yet some of us live like “Scrooge”, just being stingy – saving life for someday… not living our best lives now – saving every little goodness we have as if we will get a chance to pack them all and take them with us. Do you know of anyone who has done that? I don’t …

The TOOL Box

The more I think about it, the more I feel that we are here on earth for a purpose. I also believe that our primary purpose of our existence is to find out what our purpose is, during our lifetime. I don’t think our life is just about the “bling” – it’s more than that.

I believe we need to continue to strive to be the best ME in us… does that make sense? Not to compete with others but to compete with our own selves to be the best we each can be…if we need to do this – then we need to look within… I know its scary… its always nice to look outside isn’t it? Because many of us don’t want to deal with what is going on inside of us…

You would not know what you really want to be, if you did not know what you want. I think our creator created us with all the tools we needed. We are all given a little bit of this and that…. sure, some have a less of this and more of that, and some have more of this and less of that…. Have I confused you yet? Hope not! I think we are created as equal human beings with equal human value, but with unique qualities of our own. So the purpose of our life is to figure out how to use the tools to become the best you. This is why I think it is important to look within us to identify the tools we have. I also think the creator purposely forgot to include the instructions manual of how to use the tools, so we have a life long job of figuring out how to put all the tools together and make something out of it…. Ha…don’t you think this is fascinating?

So today, lets take a good look at our toolboxes… lets find out what we have… some of us have collected so much junk from past - and have dumped them in our boxes - so we may not find any tools at the top. We may have to throw that junk out first. Oh, now that is another story isn’t it? O.k. consider this as spring cleaning…well, not here in Canada, we are close to Christmas but it is in some other part of the world… oh, I know.. It is in Australia… I know, sometimes we may want to hold on to the junk even if we really don’t want to – because it’s just hard to let go – so many memories attached to those…although its misery sometimes it too is comforting…

Tough… but if we don’t do that we cant find our tools. Just a warning… The weight of junk may have damaged or temporarily destroyed some of the tools we were given. So don’t be surprised if they are not in good condition. You may have to dig deeper… You may also have to dust them off and give it a complete clean up – some could be even rusty….Wash it with TLC – oh wait, its not CLR – that is too harsh.. I mean TLC – Tender, Loving, Care…

See what you can do with your tools…if you haven’t done this before it may be a bit difficult – so be patient… try to see whether you can put things together and make it work. Concentrate on your job. Stop looking at other peoples boxes…Stop comparing your tools with others…Don’t cheat or try to follow other peoples instructions… it would not work with the tools you have been given…it may require you to be creative, and sometimes even take risks, if it doesn’t work try and try again until you become successful… figuring out how to put them together is your life long job… Remember, the instructions are not given for a purpose; I think to make sure that we have something to do with our lives….

For a long time I was looking at other peoples’ boxes… I thought they had better tools than mine… I wanted what they had – without even looking at what I had… I just automatically assumed that what others had was better than mine. Meanwhile mine got rusty and dusty, and was buried with all the junk I had dumped in by box. One time, I felt like the city’s dumpster… but not any more…I know what’s in my tool box…I am still exploring… but, I am happy with what I have found so far..… The creator even had added some nice goodies for me… but they are really deep down… have to dig deeper…now I am very protective of my toolbox… I don’t let people dump junk in it… I guard it like a treasure box….hmmmm, when I think about it… it is my TREASURE BOX… What's in yours?