The Biggest GIFT you can give a Child

The biggest gift you can give a child
Is your time and love
To be around them, when they need you
To let them know they are precious and valued
And they are good enough
Just the way they are

Don’t try to compensate your time and love
With expensive gifts and gadgets
It may look like its working
But not for ever…
When that child becomes an adult
They will know that they were cheated
For “stuff” does not give them love
For “stuff” does not give them self-confidence
For “stuff” does not helpbuild courage

For "stuff " does not help take away fears

Remember being a child?
Looking back…
Does it really matter whether you had that latest toy or not?
Do you miss those toys and gadgets?

I dont think so...
What matters most
I think is the love and time we get
From our dear Moms and Dads
To feel that we are appreciated
As little people starting out in this world…
That they were there for us
When we need them most
To play, laugh and sing
To read books and paint pictures
To run after butterflies and listen to fairy tales
To make mud pies and climb trees
To hold our hand when are scared
Or lend a hand when needed
To give a hug to make things better
Take away our fears when we are frightened
And to save us from the big bad monster
And to tell us….
That everything will be all right

Because they are there for us
To show us the way…
When we are lost
To teach us A-B-C-D and nursery rhymes
To teach us simple manners and good habits
To teach us to say “I love you” and “thank you very much”
To kiss us good night and tuck us in to bed
And the list may go on and on…
But can “stuff” replace this…
I don’t think so….

So, remember today
The biggest gift you can give a child
Is your time and love

It's old and true

But its still the BEST GIFT!

Are you giving your child your time and love?

In honour of my dear FRIENDS

Thank you LORD, for my friends. I really cant imagine my life without my friends. I am so blessed to have great friends to share my life with. Neither by the thousands nor even the hundreds, but I am happy to have a very few great friends who have always been there for me – the sparkling gems of my life.

I know my life would be colourless, lifeless, and flavourless without my friendships. When I think of my friendships, I have cultivated for years I truly feel blessed and fortunate. I feel rich – like Donald Trump - like a millionaire!These wonderful people have always been there for me – during my good times and especially my bad. They have honestly and faithfully supported me offering their sincere love. Today, I have friends of different nationalities, men and women, faith groups, ages, sizes, skin colours and even shapes. But they are all high in the best human qualities - honest, loving, and compassionate and believe it or not they also love food. They have been there for me and offered their love and support. Be it a walk in the park, sharing a cup of coffee or a slice of cheesecake, shopping for make-up or trying out clothes, having lunch in the mall, talking nonsense, laughing and giggling and just been plain silly, or even having a much needed spiritual discussion, chat-on-the net or a long international call or simply gossiping (Yes, I have to admit. I do! But only with a very few) they have made a huge contribution towards my growth and they still continue to do so. If some one took away my friends I would be lost – and empty. I just want to let you know I cherish you all and love you all– those of you reading this you know I am talking to you. Here’s a prayer to you my Lord, you can take away everything I own – but leave my friends – for there are like air for me.

At times, I think - who am I? What do I do well? Sometimes, nothing comes to my mind but friend. Perhaps, it’s the only great quality I have. A friend. That is my gift to you – I know I can be a Friend to you because I know the value of a friend.

Thank you all my dear friends for your continuous love and support. Thank you for your honesty and genuineness. Thank you for giving energy to my soul. Thank you for being part of my life. Thank you for tolerating me. You all have a place in my heart and you are all are invited to sit in my heart… o.k. Now take it easy… may be one at a time….some of you have gotten quite heavy over the years… ouch… yeah! That hurts ah?

Thank you and Love You.

May the Good Lord Bless You and Keep You Safe.

When I was FIVE

When I was five...
I knew what I wanted to be
When I grew up...
I wanted to be a Piano Music Teacher
I did not know how to speak my mind then
But I knew how to dream…

I dreamt day-in, day-out
24x7 and 365... and more
I pretended I was playing the piano
Even when I was having a bath
In my bath tub with my rubber duckies..
I pretended I was playing the piano..
I hoped one day when I grew up
Some one would ask me
What I wanted to do…

Little by little…
I grew up

I waited and waited...
But nobody asked me…
What I wanted to be

I was polite and gentle…
I thought I should never tell
What I wanted
Or what I needed
Unless someone asked me first…
They all forgot to ask me
What I wanted…
Instead they all told me
What I should to….

I should be this or that…
But it had no interest in my heart…
My eyes did not glee with joy
My heart did not sing with happiness
I did not find the fire within my soul
There was no spark…

Then I did not have the wisdom
To understand…

becasue I was five
That in real life…
No one really asks you "what do you want?"

Eventually, my time flew by…
With my dreams still tucked in my soul…
Untouched – untapped…
It died without creating that light…

But I am telling you this

When I was five…
I knew what I wanted to be
When I grew up…
It's just that
I did not know

how to say it out loud…

Lets pay attention to our kids.. shall we?

I Miss You

Hey, all how are you? Sorry, folks I have not written for some time. Hmmm… may be I am hit by the writer’s block or some other block.

I am missing my source of inspiration these days… Sheri my googie-ga-ga girl… she is my fan and my critique… she is busy – with her new job, new home, 3 kids and 1 big husband – sorry Jae! It’s a handful… yeah, I did not necessarily mean the latter but then come to think about it – it could be. She is busy painting her walls of her new home and arranging furniture… she is also busy getting to know her new co-workers… well but I am very positive she will not get a co-worker like me. Well I am candid and have guts… sorry Sheri if you hate my guts! But it’s the truth.

Its funny when Sheri was around I would blog like crazy – now I don’t know what has happened. Every morning, I wait for the feedback she gives me – its important for me – she’ll tell me if I am going in the right direction or not … she is honest…she is direct… she does not cushion things… She would listen to my silly dreams, my views and insights... she tolerates my silliness... I can ask for for a hug or energy... (well, sometimes, she steals the little energy I am left with) well, that is a another story!

She was also my co-worker… we case conference on a lot of things.. We had discussions about a lot of things…. We talk about FOOD, life, people, world, MEN (you see they are different from people), FOOD, dirt-cheap sales, manner less, ruthless people, home designing, diets (that never work for us) eating healthy (always, struggle here) and FOOD. Notice I said food a couple of times…. What ever we talk about it goes back to one single topic FOOD – we are highly passionate about our food and we take it seriously. We also sometimes have discussions about NOTHING…and they are the best discussions. We crave for cheesecake in the mid morning… food definitely is a major source of inspiration for the both of us…We’d drive to the town centre for more yumma-licious food…rain or shine...we’d sit and enjoy a tub of West Indian ice-cream – it gives us a chill – sometimes the chill is too much it gives us shivers, so we microwave them – yeah – ice-cream - have you ever heard of that? But it happens in our world… Some days we split a portion of garlic potatoes topped with loads of sour cream .. then complain we smell garlicky all afternoon… or go for a beef roll with spicy hot sauce. We would have a craving in the mid afternoon for spicy tamarind balls coated with sugar… it gives us energy to manage our ever stressful work. We recognize each other’s Pain in the eyes… yes! Hunger Pains…. She would surprise me with a slice of oh!-so-yummy Bailey’s cheesecake – my pain diminishes within seconds and I am back to work.

I miss the girl talk we had – criticizing our husbands every single day – it’s a great stress reliever. Each day it’s another interesting topic. She tells me I am like her husband – my brother-from-another-mother… I know its a handful - me and Jae - it too much! she always recognizes my monkey self – - she knows when my monkey is on before even I know…Its easy to talk to her. I don’t have to cushion things and add the rosette, or the frill or the bow – I don’t have to watch my words and re-edit them… I can be my true manner-less, undiplomatic, politically incorrect, absolutely fantastic, gorgeous self!

Well what does this tell you – I miss her – no way! I cant say it – I am GREEN – I am not koochi koo. We move on right! We don’t miss anyone. We cope. Our pride comes in the way.

O.K. I will say it – Sheri… I miss you.

Hmmm….long pause….. Ah! Not so bad!!!… I am still alive… yeah.. I am breathing…I can hear my self typing.. I said it…

I hope you take time today to tell people, who are important in your life that you love their presence and miss them when they are not around… there is no pride in keeping it to yourself… These are exceptional people in your life… they give you that spark to move on in life… And I know sometimes, it’s nice to know we are missed and its good to let them know.

Take a RISK...

Even though things didn’t work out
The way I planned or envisioned…
I still believe….
What I did was right
And with the right intensions….
Some may think I am naïve
Some may think I am stupid
But its still o.k.
Because I believe

What I did was right and for the right reasons

I rather take a risk..
Than be scared…
Or taking a step forward
Because I am scared to make a mistake…
Scared to make a move…
Thinking about this and that
And what others might think
Say or do….
What is safe – what is not?
Who is genuine – who is not
Who is faithful – who is not?
How do I know?
I only know…
What I know
I don’t have the power to live in another’s mind


Even if I make a mistake..
I trust and believe ...
The good Lord will forgive me
For I did it with good intensions
I believe it will protect me and keep me safe…
For I did it with good intensions
I rather take a risk and make a move
Than holding my self back
With fear and anxiety….
Repenting later for not trying

Feeling sorry for myself...
Life is too short
To limit my self to the shell
I guess, finally at the end
Our worth is determined by
Our successes and not our failures
And how would I know
If I'll be successful
If I did not try…….

Are you holding back something? Take a risk… Try – how would you know if you don’t try?

Decease to Please

For years and years I use to suffer from the decease to please others. I wanted to do everything possible to make others around me happy. I thought by doing this I would be loved by all. By doing this I neglected my own self – my own dreams and desires. I didn’t realize by doing this I was betraying my own self. I don’t think I am ever guilty of treating others bad… but I must admit I have not treated my self that good in the past. Unconsciously though, in the name of pleasing others I have displeased my self. The saddest part was, even by giving all what I had I just could not make everyone happy. This made me think otherwise.

I used to constantly do and say things to please others. Others – sometimes who had no value to me – I would attend parties and events just to please others… engage in activities that had absolutely no interest to me – be part of conversations had no meaning or interest to me – As I thought I was pleasing others I was thoroughly neglecting my self. I was suffocating my self through my own acts and behaviour. Obviously, I was not listening to my inner-self. I did not pay attention to what it was saying. I was constantly trying to “hush” my true self.

I would constantly put other’s interests and needs on top of mine. I was on the very bottom of my list… By the time, I reached my self I was always tired of doing and being there for others. I never got the best of me. This happened all the time. It was the norm.

After years of suffering from the decease I am now recovering. I must admit it feels good. It feels good to take care of my self and pay attention to my needs. I use to think it was selfish to do that - but I was wrong. Its good to live with self-love. I feel ,I am a much better person. Now I can give fully, participate fully. I don’t say “yes” to everything anymore. I think now I am more honest to my self. I have moved my self to the top of my list. So I too get the best of me. I still give my time and attention to others around me. But I don’t try just to please others. I am more conscious of my actions… about what I choose to do. I have learnt to say “NO” and work within my abilities and limits. I am more genuine and honest with my relationships. When I am there with them I am there fully. I have also learnt to appreciate the honesty in relationships. If people could not do things for me or always be there for me – I do not feel hurt anymore. I do understand they too have other important things to attend in life just like I do.

I realized people who like me have always liked me for who I am - for I too like them for who they are….and to tell you the truth people who does not like me – I too are not too crazy about them. So the feeling is mutual. Its funny though, when I look back – it’s the people I thought who didn’t like me – that I tried so hard to please. It never worked! The people who liked me liked me regardless. I have wasted my energy for so long. Now I feel comfortable with not everybody liking me. Because I too don’t like everybody. I am at peace knowing this. I don’t expect the whole world to like me. It’s impossible. Do I like the whole world? No! So who am I to demand that sort of unrealistic expectations? As a recovering addict I can tell you this - I now have more energy and true enthusiasm to work with people I truly like.

Are you suffering from the Decease to Please?

Are you there for YOU?

Hope you all are excited about this NEW year…. I am!

I hope this New Year you will choose to be there for yourself… that is if you haven’t been. To take care of your own needs… to put your self on the pedestal and to move you to the top of your list…if you don’t consider yourself as important who else will?

There comes a stage in life we need to take care of our own needs… I have certainly reached that stage… I am tired of not been there for myself…for me - my own self care is very important… I cannot depend on others to take care of my dreams… I just have to do it myself…

Recently, I was talking to an older friend of mine… she is now over 60 and she is a mother of 3 grown children. We were having a heart –to- heart talk and she sounded so unhappy with her self. She said that she never had any time to take care of her dreams and goals… although she was happy to be there for her children she missed not being there for her…She had also been there for her husband... supporting them with all their dreams and goals...There were tears in her eyes… I could feel her sadness...she talked about the dreams she had… the talents she had when she was young… her hopes…She had expected her parents and later her husband to encourage her to achieve her goals… I re-assured her that she can still do those things… but she said it’s too late… because she no longer had the physical energy to do certain things…. Perhaps, she is right… although we say its never too late… there comes a time in life it could be..

I am sharing this experience with you because you also may be thinking of doing something… but not really taking any action… we tend to procrastinate things for a lot of reasons…. Especially, when it comes achieving a personal goal.. We also depend on others to give us encouragement… we expect this…. We think it’s their duty…. Even if we have the talent and know we need to go ahead and do something we just wait for someone else to push us… sometimes, unfortunately, it will never happen…the approval or the encouragement will never happen… then what happens?

We are used to thinking ourselves in some role - mother, father, brother, sister, daughter, son, etc… etc… We are more moldered to taking care of responsibilities and obligations… We take them more seriously… and often neglect our own personal desires…

So, today take the first step.. do something for you… yes, YOU… just you… whatever it is… be it singing, belly dancing, writing, painting, gardening, travelling… take a step… it needn't be a big one… one little baby step…just try… what do you have to lose? If you fail so what? Who is giving you points?

Let me share… I am glad I started to write this blog… I had thought about it for a long time but procrastinated… fear was a big barrier… fear of failure was huge… fear of making mistakes in my writing may be… but now I don’t… I don’t think I write perfect… it’s not even important to me any more… but when I write I know I am honouring my true self… I feel connected to my self… Its not an obligation, its not a responsibility, I am not fulfilling anybody’s expectations – I feel this is where I get to be ME… its freeing and its such beautiful feeling… if I ever live up to 60 I don’t want to feel like I didn’t take care of my needs and goals and aspirations… I want to feel like I honoured my self in the best possible way I can…

I know I am a responsible individual… I never shy away from responsiblity… I fulfill my roles as wife, sister, employee, friend, etc, etc, in the best of my ability…but I realize I also have a responsibility to take care of my own needs just the way I do for others… I choose to be there for ME!

Are you there for YOU?

Happy New Year!

Wish you all a very happy New Year
May your life be filled with….
Peace, happiness and joy
May all your dreams come true
And this year…
May you find your True Self…
May you find the True Purpose of your beautiful life…
So that you will be able to live your life
Up to your truest potential….

May you be able to
Live your best life every single Day...

Thank you all…
To my dear readers…
Thank you for your lovely comments…
And encouraging e-mails
Thank you for motivating me...
To continue writing this blog
It means a lot to me....
To know that you all care
and appreciate my work…
And to know that
I am able to reach you all
And touch your soul in some way…

Just like you have motivated me..
I hope I am able to motivate you
At least in some simple way…
To live your best life
Every single day…
To live up to your truest potential
And become the BEST you…

May you have a great year ahead
Filled with beautiful moments...
May you have the courage and wisdom
To face the unavoidable....
May you come closer and closer

Every single day of this new year...
To become the BEST you…

Love you All…….