"U" in YOu

Can you believe its December 31, 2006…. The last day of 2006….This time around the year, I always get so excited.. Its because this is the time to reflect on the past year, and to review my goals for the New Year. A brand new start… if things have not gone o.k. for some of us… then there is hope we will be able to make things right – at least there is hope…HOPE is a great thing!

I hope this year you will make some “ME TIME” for yourselves. JUST FOR YOU… to honour that great person… the “U” in you – perhaps, this coming new year we can try to put the “U” in you first… hard… Traditionally, it's always the last… right? – but let’s give it a try!

I believe through my own experiences the most supportive, loving, encouraging person lives within us. That is our own inner self – that is the “U” in YOU! Some may call it the “true self”, “higher power”, “godly self” or the “authentic self”… I hope you have made connection with your inner-self. We all have that within us… that is not just unique to me. It’s within you too. But it’s your responsibility to find it. I also believe its our primary purpose in life to find it and honour it with the best of our ability. If you have not done it already, just give it a try.

How do you find it… by being quiet and listening to your self… it will become closer to you by doing things that you love to do.. simple things.. by truly relaxing your mind and body… you may need lots of patience… lots of it… and practice… Lets try to put aside some time to work on own dreams and goals – they can be big or small – Its good to connect with our inner-selves, listen to our inner-voices and try to honour our true selves.

When you find your true self you will not feel lonely… even if you are alone you will not feel lonely.. That is the true benefit. Even if the whole world is against you, your true self will be there for you – by your side – loving you, supporting you and encouraging you towards achieving your own goals in life.

We tend to constantly seek external support to achieve our goals – and sometimes, these external support can fail us for what ever reasons…I am sure you have experienced this too… sometimes, they cant be reliable or dependable… I am not saying we dont need external support - we certainly do...But we also need to seek internal support from our own inner-selves…Remember, we are built with a internal support system… The Good Lord has given this to us already.. but finding the “switch” is our Job. All we have to do is find that “switch” and put it “on” so there will be “light” in your life. Why live in darkness? Don’t you think we owe this to ourselves?

Nobody else can be more passionate than our own selves about our own goals… Nobody else has the drive and the determination of pursuing our own goals than our own selves… Lets try to find our inner-selves, it’s within us… its there… in us.. You and me and all… finding it is our task… when we do, its worth it… then will no longer depend on outside support for achieving your goals…If outside support is there its good. If not, it’s good too. You will not feel crippled without it because you now have the ‘U” in you…. You will feel stronger and confident, courageous and supportive, determined and perseverant – because now you are not alone… You have “U” and you have light. You will turn inside because you have a best friend within you that will never leave you.


Are you in touch with the “U” in you?

Christmas Dinner

Hi there, hope you all had a great Christmas…

I sure had a good one myself! As some of you already knew, I had given my husband a gift – an all inclusive, paid holiday to be with his mother and family away from Canada. So, that meant I was home alone.. Yeah… sounds scary… ha..ha.. I felt like the “kid” in the movie “Home Alone”…. Sure… at times, felt like wrecking the home too…

One thing for sure, I wasn’t going to spend my Christmas miserable… although we don’t celebrate Christmas, I love the Christmas cheer… it is time to sit back, relax and enjoy. Well, it’s also the only holiday we get here in Canada other than Thanksgiving.. so we might as well enjoy and have great time…

I thought of having a little party… yeah.. I was in the mood to Partay! Partay!! Well, I did not have a lot of stuff at home – I peeped in to the fridge – it wasn’t full – opened the pantry cupboards … not a lot left there too -since I hadn’t done groceries and I am kind of crippled because I cant drive… because I depend on my husband for this.. (O.K. More on this later – lets keep on track right?) But I was determined to have some fun.. so I invited my friend Sumi and her family over for dinner on Christmas Day. They too don’t celebrate Christmas and also like me have no other family. And besides the poor woman had to work on Christmas Day. So I thought it would be a great way for her to unwind, relax and chill.

Boy! That was interesting and challenging…I didn’t have enough of anything to follow a traditional recipe…so I had to be really creative… I added a bit of this and bit of that and was able to make a full meal – of course, at this point I was making meals I had never made before…. May I admit? I had to really pray to the Lord because at one point I was scared whether I would be able to make it. Believe me, I was able to make a really nice complete meal with what I was left with…. I even managed to whip up a really nice dessert – thanks to my husband… I hope he won’t miss it…ooops… yeah.. Emptied his bottle of brandy – threw in some fresh apples and pears, butter, brown sugar, resin-nut bran cereal, vanilla and baked it for half-an-hour… Ah.. It tasted so… good… served it piping hot over crushed chocolate creamsicles… because I did not even have ice cream at home…. But it tasted so…. yummy… that I think was the perfect ending to a no-name menu!

The evening turned out to be wonderful.. We emptied a bottle of wine, relaxed, laughed and talked a lot…my friends were happy with the meal and I received a lot of compliments too. I was happy not because of the complements because I too had a great evening… I am glad I decided to do that because if not I would have just sat in misery thinking of the great Christmases other people were having… And I was happy to share what ever I had… food, home and time with others …isn’t this what Christmas is about?

o.k… you guessed it right!.. there is a point to my sharing this.. this is not about the No-Name dishes I made….sometimes, in life too.. we may not have a full stock in hand… we may lack this or that… but yet we still have to face life… do our best and make something out of what we are left with… Only a very few of us may ever feel like we have a full stock…but many of us don’t… So, lets take a risk here….And if we think creatively, I believe, we certainly can pull-off something pretty good.. something pretty unique too…. Who says we have to serve what everybody else serves.. Lets remember in life – you are the Chef… its up to you to how you whip things up… When in doubt always garnish with lots of love, compassion and kindness – sprinkle it with good humour… it never goes wrong… Be genuine – it will always taste good…

Out to PLAY

In each and every one of us….
Buried, deep down is a child
A child who likes to play
Have fun and be silly….
No matter how old we are
Thirty, forty, fifty or beyond
There is a child
Who wants to be loved, appreciated and touched
A child that never grows old
Right here, in side each of us…

It’s not a crime to let your child out
We needn’t be ashamed
To revive the child in each of us
In fact, I think it’s a shame
When we don’t do that…

Sure, as we tell ourselves…
We are adults!
We tend to neglect our inner child
We bury it with mundane tasks and endless responsibilities
Rules and regulations
And tiresome obligations
We cage our inner child
And ask it to keep quiet
“Hush!”
But why?

Every now and then
Lets take our inner child out to play
To have fun, to laugh and to make merry
Let it out and set it free ….
And see how much fun it brings to your grown self
It yearns for simple things
Just like a kid
It sees the joy and happiness
In simple things…
In dew drops and seashells
In butterflies and rainbows
In ice cream and chocolate and candy
It likes laughter and cheer
Love and affection
Humour and giggles…
Nothing fancy, nothing expensive
Nothing beyond reach
So today, let your inner child out
And let it have some fun….

Sounds silly? Try it .... you might have some fun...

Reach Out!

Last morning as I was walking out to the bus stop, I slipped on a patch of black ice and fell. Yes, I went on all fours and it was a very hard fall. I did go down with a “thud” as I am no featherweight. I fell flat on my stomach and for a moment or two did not really know what had happened. There was a woman who walked by me – as I was lying on the road trying really hard to pick up my self – I saw her stilettos passing me by. In my mind I was screaming “help, help” but the words did not come out. I thought the stilettos would reach me. But it didn’t. Perhaps she didn’t hear, perhaps she was preoccupied with something else. Boy! I would have really appreciated someone’s helping hand – that would have meant a lot to me.

As I was picking myself up with great difficulty – thanks to my own hands – that is a lot of weight to lift – I was thinking to my self…. This happens often in real life… doesn’t it? Often, we just have to pick ourselves - by ourselves with no external support. Whether it is a physical fall like mine or some other falling in life – when we are down – it is scary and lonely out there. And we become helpless. I experienced this myself yesterday. As I was down there, I looked up – the sky seemed much higher than usual, the trees and buildings too, even the stilettos looked unreachable. I guess, it’s a different picture you see when you are down there. And if someone remains there for a long time then it becomes impossible to pick-up one self. I can understand, why some people give up. Some times, it’s hard to get-up in life without a helping hand. Last week, closer to home – a young woman took her life. She also took her young son along with her. She jumped off an overhead bridge to the busy highway. She pushed her son before she took her life. Sad but it’s true.

If we can, lets remember to reach out and give some one a hand to get-up in life. We all need to help each other. I don’t think we are meant to do this alone. We can’t. Lets be conscious and sensitive towards people around us. If we took a moment to help another would our lives crash? I don’t think so…

On a lighter note, the previous night I was complaining to my husband that my stomach is growing bigger by the day. No! I am not pregnant. It is just lack of exercise. But last morning – it acted as my airbag. The extra padding really prevented any bones from cracking. I am still in severe pain but things could have been worse. Hmmm… you never know what might come in handy. I have a new sense of appreciation for my tummy now!

Happily Ever After....When?

I find it strange that many of us live our lives preparing to live…yes, preparing to be happy, successful and contend someday. As if there is going to be a time where we can say, “ and we lived happily ever after”. I am sure many of us are familiar with the endings of such fairytales – no one ever knows what happens after they start to live happily ever after. I know of some people who have taken this route – I also knew a few people who never saw the end. They parted while they were preparing to live happily ever after. They were always tired and exhausted preparing for life – they didn’t have time to nurture relationships, connect with others or even get connected with their own selves. They departed not knowing who they are or why they were here. Many of them had excelled professionally, had climbed the ladder to the top, managed to hold some of the highest designations, owned mansions and lots of wealth, even had spouses and children but never had time to know them. To talk to them or listen to them or engage in any activities with them… Not because they didn’t care but they were busy preparing to live life one day.

We take life for granted and believe one day there is going to be a time when everything is hunky-dory. Well, I don’t know whether you have, but I have not reached this stage and nor do I believe, I will during my lifetime. The happiness of our lives is in the moments. There is always something or the other we have to deal with at any given time. Some crisis, some catastrophe, some trauma, some distressing issue. But if we look closely, happiness and success is also there – intertwined with all these…there is triumph, there is joy, there is satisfaction, there is laughter, there is love… It is there in the moments. Not in blocks of decades but in moments. Just like the precious gems, its there mixed in with the dirt and grime.

Some of us strive hard to gather all material things. Neglecting relationships – whether is spousal or parent-child or any other. We are busy gathering stuff to be happy one day. We have no time to talk or listen to others, we have no time to sit-together and enjoy a meal, we have no time to go for a relaxing walk, listen to some joyful music, attend a fun event…we have no time to hold hands, we have no time for a warm hug.. we don’t even have time to breath…. nothing. Because we are busy preparing to be happy one day. The sad part is some of us don’t even know what makes us happy –we have no time to know because we are too busy preparing to be happy someday.

I believe life is meant to be lived and not saved. Life is meant to be fully consumed before we depart. Yet some of us live like “Scrooge”, just being stingy – saving life for someday… not living our best lives now – saving every little goodness we have as if we will get a chance to pack them all and take them with us. Do you know of anyone who has done that? I don’t …

The TOOL Box

The more I think about it, the more I feel that we are here on earth for a purpose. I also believe that our primary purpose of our existence is to find out what our purpose is, during our lifetime. I don’t think our life is just about the “bling” – it’s more than that.

I believe we need to continue to strive to be the best ME in us… does that make sense? Not to compete with others but to compete with our own selves to be the best we each can be…if we need to do this – then we need to look within… I know its scary… its always nice to look outside isn’t it? Because many of us don’t want to deal with what is going on inside of us…

You would not know what you really want to be, if you did not know what you want. I think our creator created us with all the tools we needed. We are all given a little bit of this and that…. sure, some have a less of this and more of that, and some have more of this and less of that…. Have I confused you yet? Hope not! I think we are created as equal human beings with equal human value, but with unique qualities of our own. So the purpose of our life is to figure out how to use the tools to become the best you. This is why I think it is important to look within us to identify the tools we have. I also think the creator purposely forgot to include the instructions manual of how to use the tools, so we have a life long job of figuring out how to put all the tools together and make something out of it…. Ha…don’t you think this is fascinating?

So today, lets take a good look at our toolboxes… lets find out what we have… some of us have collected so much junk from past - and have dumped them in our boxes - so we may not find any tools at the top. We may have to throw that junk out first. Oh, now that is another story isn’t it? O.k. consider this as spring cleaning…well, not here in Canada, we are close to Christmas but it is in some other part of the world… oh, I know.. It is in Australia… I know, sometimes we may want to hold on to the junk even if we really don’t want to – because it’s just hard to let go – so many memories attached to those…although its misery sometimes it too is comforting…

Tough… but if we don’t do that we cant find our tools. Just a warning… The weight of junk may have damaged or temporarily destroyed some of the tools we were given. So don’t be surprised if they are not in good condition. You may have to dig deeper… You may also have to dust them off and give it a complete clean up – some could be even rusty….Wash it with TLC – oh wait, its not CLR – that is too harsh.. I mean TLC – Tender, Loving, Care…

See what you can do with your tools…if you haven’t done this before it may be a bit difficult – so be patient… try to see whether you can put things together and make it work. Concentrate on your job. Stop looking at other peoples boxes…Stop comparing your tools with others…Don’t cheat or try to follow other peoples instructions… it would not work with the tools you have been given…it may require you to be creative, and sometimes even take risks, if it doesn’t work try and try again until you become successful… figuring out how to put them together is your life long job… Remember, the instructions are not given for a purpose; I think to make sure that we have something to do with our lives….

For a long time I was looking at other peoples’ boxes… I thought they had better tools than mine… I wanted what they had – without even looking at what I had… I just automatically assumed that what others had was better than mine. Meanwhile mine got rusty and dusty, and was buried with all the junk I had dumped in by box. One time, I felt like the city’s dumpster… but not any more…I know what’s in my tool box…I am still exploring… but, I am happy with what I have found so far..… The creator even had added some nice goodies for me… but they are really deep down… have to dig deeper…now I am very protective of my toolbox… I don’t let people dump junk in it… I guard it like a treasure box….hmmmm, when I think about it… it is my TREASURE BOX… What's in yours?

I am ME

I am my only wealth and asset
I am my life – my only life
I may be different from you but
I am ME….

I am sorry,
I can’t be like you…
Please don’t hate me for that
If I don’t like what you like…
Or not think, say or do things the way you do
I may have different values, hopes and dreams
Insights and ideas, beliefs and traditions…
I may dance to a different tune
Because that is what I hear in my mind...
I may walk at a different pace
Because that is my comfort level...
I may be headed in a different direction
Because that is my destiny – meant for me...
I may be related to you
Be your husband or wife
Sister or brother
Friend or co-worker
But please don’t forget
I am ME
And not you
Do not compare me to you
Because,
I am ME and not you….

I am my only wealth and asset
I am my life – my only life
This is the only time...
I can play me – in my life
This is the only time...
I can take the lead role
This is the only time...
I can shine
This is the only time...
I can be a star
By simply being me
Because I am the expert of me
This is the only time
I can put my self on the pedestal
And not feel selfish about it…
because its me and my pedestal

Not yours or anyone elses...

but my own...


So… please let me be - the best me…
While you be the best you…
We can still be friends or family
If you realize and accept
I am ME
And you are YOU
We can both shine
In our own unique ways…..
Without letting each other down
Or putting each other down



Are you, YOU?

The Fat Paper Doll

Remember playing with paper dolls? Specially those of you who are around my age – extremely sophisticated, absolutely gorgeous, oh! So.. young…(at heart)…oops… sorry if I hurt your feelings…

Yes, I was also one of those who were crazy about playing with the paper dolls. Some of my friends had ready-made, cutouts sent to them by their uncles and aunts living abroad. But for some of us, we had to rely on someone with good drawing skills. My two sisters were very good at drawing and sketching figures, specially my second. But is was such a struggle to get them to oblige. My brother Lalin, was also good in art but not necessarily sketching female figures. In fact, he had won a couple of awards at school for his work. I wanted to be in-with-the-crowd, since I could not get the help from my sisters I approached by brother. As usual, he was very obliging and always willing to help. After all, I am his baby sister. So he drew me a doll – all I wanted was a doll – and I was ever so thankful to him.

Upon seeing my doll my friends laughed at me… They said my doll looked liked me – sure it was a fat doll and had no shape unlike the ones they had. She also did not have pretty little under wear like the others. She wore boxer shorts and a vest. But it was o.k. because it was drawn by my brother and I was proud of it. It was the best he could do. It didn’t matter that my doll wasn’t the prettiest or the one with the best figure…Because of him I was able to be in-with- the- crowd… that's what mattered to me.

I learnt an important lesson here – I understood the meaning of “it’s the thought and effort that matters” – and it certainly was. He helped me when I really needed it. Thanks Bro, you are the best!

I yearn for fresh roses

A few weeks ago, I attended a community funeral. He was just 52 years old and dropped to death with a heart attack while he was working. He worked hard like many of us. And that day was his last. I sat in the parlour holding my husbands hand. I felt sadness for him and his family. His only child and only daughter had just got married. I doubt if he had the chance to look at the wedding album.

As I was sitting there with a heavy heart, I could not help noticing the beautiful fresh flowers placed around the coffin. There were at least a dozen of large arrangements mostly roses and it was a pretty sight. I wondered whether he could see it. Then I wondered when I die whether I could see it. How sad if I could not see it. I had previously worked as a floral assistant at a local flower shop and I knew how expensive these fresh flower arrangements were. I remembered thinking my self that time – if I really want fresh roses to accompany my coffin I probably could not afford to die. Because, they are that expensive. Since I had a very simple wedding when we got married (no regrets here! extremely happy with the decision – one of the best decisions ever made) I never had an opportunity surround my self with flowers – of course, other than the times I worked in the flower shop. Usually, it’s during weddings and funerals that people get to surround themselves with flowers. I am not talking about the rich and famous here; they would probably wake up to a room full of flowers every single day.

O.k. the point is – would I want to surround my self with flowers when I am gone? (since I am not sure whether I can see – again even if I could, lets say – I may not because I wear glasses and I am blind as a bat when I don’t have them!) I would prefer to be surrounded by flowers at least a few bunches of long stem quality expensive roses while I am alive. Wouldn’t that be great? As you can understand – I yearn for fresh roses… a simple desire… after all; I am not yearning for the moon…..

Now there is a point to my point – lets try, you and me both to make our lives more rewarding and joyful - in engaging in pleasure filled activities. Not just pressure filled tasks and endless responsibilities and obligations. I think its o.k. to splurge our selves with things we desire. As I think about it, is it really hard for myself to give myself this? Is this such a big deal? No – but what’s hard is giving the permission to do it. Because sometimes we don’t think of ourselves as deserving of such treats even if we could afford. Be it roses or caramel peach cheesecake –what ever we yearn… lets have it now if we can - while we are alive and kicking.

My Daily Prayer

My dear Lord, my Higher Power…..
Here am I, offering my self to you
Please use me and use all my potential
To make this world a better place
For you, me and all

I don’t know how many more years I have
It does not matter to me now…
A year, two or a decade…
What matters to me is I live a meaningful life
Knowing I did my best to make this world a better place

One day, sooner or later, I too shall depart
My flesh, bones and blood will all get dried and become ash
I know I will not take any thing material – big or small
I know at the end of this journey I will not own anything
I would probably be left only with my spirit, which I don’t even know

If I ever get a chance to look back
I want to know I lived my best life
To know that I understood my life’s purpose
And I did my best to fulfill it, in the best of my ability

Please Lord, please use my life
Use my skills, knowledge and experiences I have acquired
Please give me a platform to use what I have
I want to live my life to the fullest and depart empty
I know I have a lot to give….. I know I have a lot to share….
Sometimes, I am just scared because I don’t know how
I am scared; I will depart without ever getting a chance to give all I have

Lord, you have put me through so many tests, trials, disappointments and sorrows,
Battle after battle, problem after problem, obstacle after obstacle
And sometimes, I have wondered – oh! Why or why me?
Now I realize, that this was on purpose, and to teach me important lessons in life – that I could not learn going to school
My life is rich and meaningful not because of my credentials and certifications
But because of true-life experiences I have had….
I can understand what other people go through in difficult times
Not because I have learnt them in school
But, because I have gone through them my self

Thank you for the lessons in life Lord,
For I am a much richer person now
Thank you for always been there for me and believing in me
And whispering in my ear that I can do it….
Thank you for believing in me
Even at times when I doubt about my own self

So, here is my prayer my Lord
Please use me, to make a difference in this world – at least to one person in one small way….
Please help me bring sunshine to someone’s life,
Please help me bring a smile to someone’s face,
Please help me bring comfort to someone’s heart
Use me Lord… Use me….
I want to live my life to the fullest and depart empty
When I depart, I want to feel that I have given all what I had…
And nothing was left behind….

What is your daily prayer?

Thank you to YOU too!

Just as much as I am thankful to all the people
Who has loved me and supported me
I am also thankful to all those who did not
I am thankful to those who told me that was not good enough
Because you taught me what it is to
Believe in my self and not give up my dreams

Every time you disrespected me
I learnt to respect my self even more
Every time you looked down upon me
I learnt to look up and beyond you
Every time you made me feel small
I learnt that I am actually bigger than you
Every time you told me that I was not good enough
I knew I have the ability to be even better
Every time you told me that I could not do something
I realized in fact I could do it….and do it even better

Your remarks and behaviour may have hurt me at times
But perhaps, now that I think about it
It was for a good reason….
For every time I have experienced something bad
Even though its has been difficult and frustrating
I have always walked away being a better person
Perhaps, if not for people like you
I would have not learnt the value of self-respect, courage, strength and perseverance
Fighting for myself and for my dreams, hopes an goals
You have challenged me to be my best
And the value of believing further in my self and my abilities

So whether you have supported me or not
You too have made a contribution
Towards the positive growth of my life
As I continue to the walk forward on my path
Whether you were on my side or not
Whether you supported me or not
Your existence in my life and my path
Has been for a good reason
So how can I not be?
Thankful to you…
Thank You.


It has taken me many years to realize, and lots of grace to admit this. Those people who have not been supportive of me are not necessarily my enemies. When I think of the great lessons I have learnt, and the great qualities I have acquired - facing such people - I must acknowledge and give thanks to them too. I hope you try this for yourself . . . it gives so much freedom.

When Can you be Happy?

You can be truly happy
When you realize your self worth
When you start to love your self
When you start to respect your self
When you start to accept your self
Regardless of what others think of you

You will be truly happy
When you no longer depend on others
For love and respect
When you no longer depend on others
For acceptance and validation
When you no longer depend on others
For your happiness

You can be truly happy
When you realize the beauty within your own self
Whey you know who you are and what you stand for
When you realize your weaknesses and strengths
And when you accept your self
Just the way you are
Expecting
Nothing more, nothing else

Today, lets take a moment to look within ourselves to seek inner happiness… I hope you have found happiness within yourself. If not, it’s never too late… start today. It’s better late than never.

The Elephant Without a Trunk

I was born big – a bouncing baby of 9lbs… and continued to stay that way. When I was 10, I was 110lbs and 5ft tall. This is an exception to a south-asian girl. Simply put it - a no! no!!. My size, dark complexion and height were always a major topic at family discussions. Obviously people had a lot of fun at my expense. Feel a bit of resentment – sure! To add spice to this my two sisters and brother spread the rumour that I consumed half a loaf of bread and six eggs for breakfast. I have no clue where this came from. To this day, I have never eaten six eggs at one single meal or even in one day. I was called the “big bird” and “blackie” by the neighborhood kids and sometimes, even their parents called me that. I was a quiet, polite child and when people made fun at me if I could manage I would still smile – that’s because I could not cry. Crying wasn’t appreciated in my family – it was seen as a sign of weakness. O.K. so who wants to be labeled as weak?

One day, when I was in fifth grade during an art class I noticed the kids around looking at me and giggling. I also saw a piece of drawing paper being passed around. I was curious and waited impatiently for my turn. It never reached me. I got up and grabbed it – that day my life fell apart – There was a picture of a huge elephant - drawn by my best friend – it had my name on it. As usual I did not say anything – I cried in silence. Of course, my friendship ended with my friend. But this day my perception of my self changed. My self-esteem dropped, I started to live in a self-created shell. I felt ridiculed and embarrassed for the next 20 years of my life. I always saw my self as the elephant – without the trunk. It was painful. It was so bad sometimes, I would even hear the trumpeting of an elephant in my mind.

It wasn’t until I was about 30 I was able to walk out of this. It wasn’t easy – it did not happen in a flash… But I finally made it. It so happens that elephant is my favorite animal – actually it has always been but I just did not want to admit to the outside world – in case they would say, “ oh, you just look like one”. Today, I feel free and can laugh about it but when I was 10 that wasn’t easy. I am sure some of you can relate to my bitter experience. May be you weren’t called an elephant but something else.

When we are young we may not know any better. Even if we did – we are scared of voicing it. What others say about us makes who we are. It shouldn’t be, but that is how it works when we are young. In my profession as a counsellor, I have met many successful people, well in to their thirties, forties and fifties still holding on to negative remarks that were said to them when they were kids. They are ridiculed and embarrassed and hurt. Their pain is real, so as the anger. Sometimes, the damage it creates is lifelong. It takes away ones happiness and zest for life. Many people suffer quietly and they are too embarrassed to talk about it.

Lets be careful with what we say and how we choose to have fun. If we are having fun at the expense of others then we cannot really call our selves as "having a great sense of humour". Lets also be careful around our own children. After all, most parents would say they want the best for their children. What good does it make to produce a so-called successful 30 year-old, a highly educated professional with a double degree – if he or she is still frothing with anger or embarrassment because of an insensitive remake we made when they were young. Would you call that success?

IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY

If you love somebody
Tell them now
Don’t wait for that perfect day
For it may never come

Life is short and unpredictable
And, I think we all know that
But yet,
We always hesitate so much
To tell somebody that we love and care for them

Whether it’s your spouse, children or friends
Do tell them that you love them
For we never know – when we have to say “Good Bye”
And never see each other again

If you have something good to say
Say it and say it NOW

When he or she can still hear it
Because when they are gone – they are gone
They can't read the beautiful cards
Or smell the flowers
Or see your tears
Or hear your sweet words of appreciation

Nobody ever dies of too much love or care
But I know sometimes people die
Because, the lack of it
We all want to be loved and cared and accepted
As humans we constantly strive to hear it
Every single day

So today. . . .
If you love somebody
Tell them . .
Let them know how much you appreciate
Having them in your life
Tell them how much you love them and care for them
For you may not get another chance

During the past ten years, I have lost many people who were near and dear to me - my father and mother, three aunts, two uncles, two good friends and two loving dogs.. but I am glad I had the awareness to let some of them know - specially my parents - to let them know how much I cared for them.

I hope you do the same.

What happens when somebody tells YOU that you are not good enough?

What happens when somebody tells you
That you are not good enough?
Do you listen to that person?
Turn back . . . .
And give up all your hopes and dreams?

What happens to all your dreams?
Life long ambitions and aspirations?
Should you give up?
Just because,
Somebody told you – you are not good enough?

In life, it often happens
Whether you are at school, work or play
People just appear from nowhere
And tell us that we are not good enough
Or we don’t belong or fit in
They tell us we have nothing to offer
No talents, skills or qualifications
Nothing worthy or valuable. . . .
Should we believe them?
Should we give in to them?
Should we give up all our hopes?
But, why?

We are who we are
And we have the right to be the best we can be
We have a right to a dream, a hope, a goal
And, we have the right to make it happen
And become successful
Just like anybody else . . .

So next time . . .
When somebody tells you that
You are not good enough
Don’t turn back or walk away
Don't give up your dream or hope
Be courageous and strong
Stand still and look in the person’s eye
And ask “why not?’”


“Why not?”
Many years ago, I was battling with some issues that led me to write this to myself, to give me strength. It helped me a lot and I was able to overcome some of my fears..

A Beautiful Afternoon

I experienced this a many years back but memories still fresh like yesterday... At a time when I was juggling college with two jobs. During this time I was living in a high-rise building – and one afternoon, as usual I was hopping in to the elevator to rush to work. Inside the elevator, a pleasant woman greeted me – I knew she lived in the building, and I also happen to know she was blind. She was a sweet lady loved by all in the building. She looked in my direction and asked me “ Isn’t it a great afternoon?” I looked at her in amazement and thought to my self how would she know, because I knew she was totally blind. I said “mmmmhmmm” but I actually had no clue what kind of day it was. Why? Because I had not been paying attention. As usual I hurried out of the elevator, but as I was walking to catch the bus, I looked around – yes, it was a gorgeous, sunny afternoon. I looked up too – I must admit I usually don’t – the sun was shining and the sky was a beautiful blue. There was a soft breeze in the air and the flowers along the pathway to the building absolutely looked beautiful. I felt the warmth of the soft sun on my skin – it was refreshing. I paused in for a few seconds to absorb the beauty around me… and it sure felt good!But that day, I also felt ashamed… My creator had given me sight but I was not using it … and I had to learn this lesson from a blind woman who I knew could not see. However, it taught me a great lesson and that I will never forget.Now everyday as I go out, I take a few moments to look around and I also look up. I take a second to give thanks for my sight. I make a conscious effort to observe what kind of day it is…every single day has been beautiful… in a different way…in its own way.. Some days, there is more sun, some days more cloud, the sky turns to a myriad shades of blues and purples and pinks and oranges depending which time of the day it is I am looking, I notice the trees and shrubs and the colours of its leaves and flowers... I hear the sounds of birds… I see squirrels…. I have started to notice because I am paying attention to these things.It feels good to be connected with the outside world every single day even though it’s for a brief minute or two. Whenever I do that, I feel I am part of a bigger picture. I am fortunate to be living in country that has four seasons. Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter…I am glad for each season, for it presents it self with a unique beauty of its own. I am happy I have sight… even though I wear glasses I can still see… I can still see… I can still see…. and I dont want to take for granted....

Are you using your eyes?
Isn't it strange - in our rush to get through everyday life, we miss the precious moments, and sometimes having perfect sight we are still blind to life.

WELCOME

As some of you know, I love to write… sometimes, writing is easy for me than talking… I know I am able to express my self much better when I write… I also feel good when I write… Through this blog I will be able to share my thoughts with you. I am not sure what I am going to write… but let’s see. I will write what ever that comes to my mind – hopefully it will be interesting. I am also new to blogging so I am experimenting the features. I’ve just started – I am sure I will learn a few things as I go along. I will continue this if it’s fun and interesting. If not I will just move on to something else. Who says, I have to stick to it… right??

You know what, I used to love to write when I was a child too. I am not sure whether I started to read before I started to talk. All credit goes to my mom. She taught me how to read and write. I wasn’t much of a talker anyway. Being the youngest of a family of four I never had a chance to talk. Especially with my mom and two sisters… no opportunities were present what so ever! More about this later.

I have always dreamt of being a writer. I mean daydreaming. Yes, I daydream about a lot. I can’t say its bad because I have also achieved a lot of my dreams. Every single day I am getting old…yes… sometimes, it freaks me out.. but it’s true. Every single day I live, I get closer and closer to my grave. Hmm… and now that’s scary ah? The point is who knows whether I get to be a writer. Sure, I would like to be a famous writer earning million dollars someday - but now, I am not sure whether I have a lot of time to keep dreaming. Someday seems far away. Who knows, because life is short and unpredictable.

Well, I think the real desire is not the million dollars or the fame, I think it’s the opportunity to fulfill the desire of writing. I was reading a motivational article and the authour said, “if you want to be a writer, then start writing”. Hmmm… pretty simple… yes, I thought why not? Anyway, when you look at it.. I write so I can call my self a writer.. right? I am sure I will make mistakes, spellings and grammar and who know’s what else… But if I keep putting off, I will never do it… besides, I am an ESL speaker and writer… so what if I make a mistake… English is not my first language…. Ah, now admitting this gives me confidence…

Few weeks ago this subject came up with one of my dear co-workers. She passed on to me an article written by her husband. I thought it was pretty interesting. I told her, she should encourage her husband to write more. Then it got me thinking. Perhaps, I should do that my self. So this thought inspired to start this blog. I am happy to know, he has already started his blog… I have never met him, but I can see the brother really enjoys it…He is blogging away like crazy…I am glad I have inspired someone do something they love… its time to inspire my self too…

Not bad at all… it was not difficult – I wrote a page on “nothing”… So I think I will start to write… yes, it feels good…. It feels familiar and comfortable….I hope in the following days to come I could write something interesting, inspiring, or even something that will make you laugh. I cannot promise but I will try. Well, if I screw up so what… this is not the first time I have screwed up. I am sure, you my friends will still love me.. right? I hope so…